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  • Pulse

    Plastic face
    Lifeless eyes
    Cold machine feeling
    From inside

    To ignore
    To walk away
    For this circumstance
    Nothing's okay

    Feel the skin
    Check and assume
    A sad tale for the one
    Who ingested the fumes

    These few words
    Corrupted, in a sense
    Demanding salvation
    For you, no respect

    Don't say that you're human
    Don't feel that you are human
    You've brought this on yourself
    Now, enjoy hell

    Rotting flesh
    Turning blue
    What can I do
    For the likes of you?

    No one else around
    To even care
    When addiction took over
    It's mechanical despair

    Don't say that you're human
    Don't feel that you are human
    You've brought this on yourself
    Now, enjoy hell

    I felt the pulse, in you
    I felt the pain, in you
    Yet you've done this on yourself
    Now, enjoy hell

    Electronic dreams
    Forgotten lives
    Abandoned to the dust
    Beneath bluest skies

    Synthetic friends
    Controlled suicide
    The attempt to breathe
    It was a waste of time
    ~~~

    The title refers to an electric pulse in mechanics, and "checking the pulse" on humans.
    This is what I've got based on the double meaning.

  • #2
    I hope you've cheered up since you wrote this lol! But within that, I did enjoy the line "Now, enjoy hell" cuz if we could then we might realize there's no escape. Escape itself is part of the problem. Keeping my inner -me in check.

    Seems more song-y than poem-ish, is it more of a spoken out loud piece, maybe to music?

    I would love to see more positive writing from you. I often feel I am being stilted, when I am "attempting" to write darkly. The way I see this is that you weren't really feeling the poem -- you were feeling some of it, of course, I am sure, although to me ... such dimness and darkness is a little over the top, hard to believe, without something Beautiful and Light to balance it.

    You know how at the Apex of tragedy it becomes comedy, and vice versa? Well how do I explain? Better to balance (add a pinch of salt) the heavy mood by realizing and not taking the material so seriously.

    Anyway just some ideas. Thanks for sharing, Bry.

    Comment


    • Bry89
      Bry89 commented
      Editing a comment
      As someone who is heavily influenced by many forms of industrial music and also having a negative outlook on humanity, that would be very hard for me to do. Also, more "feeling" in this would be applied if it was converted to music but again, under the same genre that I am hooked on to, pretty much in the same style as acts like Front Line Assembly, Dismantled or LeƦther Strip.

      And by the way, I did write some positive pieces before. For example, "Constellation" that I had put up here recently. I even write a few more in this way after that one. Keep your eyes peeled for them.

    • amenOra
      amenOra commented
      Editing a comment
      O i love a certain kind of industrial too... specially mixed with techno but isn't that a given? Might not be cuz I'm not well versed. Anyway.

      Thanks for sharing, my eyes be open.

  • #3
    This sets out for me strikingly why first choices are so important - why we have to be thinking ahead all of the time. We still live in the moment, but sometimes our innocent choices in the moment lead to addictions (robotic future choices/actions) that might have been avoided by steering clear in the first place.

    In the end, we do the best we can. But I hope we never get to the point where the machines are the things keeping us going.

    Comment


    • Bry89
      Bry89 commented
      Editing a comment
      So true. They can't be our companions forever.
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