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  • Something to you

    SOMETHING TO YOU

    Why can’t I be something to you?
    I gave you my all
    You gave me much
    But never the truth
    Days in the sun
    We danced like dragonflies
    Above emerald waters
    Then came ebony skies
    We lit and made love
    Creating life, sons and daughters
    Why can’t I be something to you?
    Instead of a ghost town
    You’re just passing through

    RDS
    THE SECOND



  • #2
    As always, nicely done.
    If you will slap me down
    but the present tense
    presents hope.
    To have lost
    it should be past.

    "Why couldn’t I be something to you?
    Instead of a ghost town
    You’ve just passed through."

    Comment


    • The second
      The second commented
      Editing a comment
      Thanks again Johntee I actually wrote this as a lyric Couldn't doesn't fit. The way I wrote it I wanted to present both as mentioned past and present
      Like a spouse you spent years with then its over but you still have to confront each other because you have kids and when you meet, the spouse acts like you don't or didn't even exist. over and over again. Yours would read Instead of a ghost town you've just passed through again and again. I think. But I know Thank You.

  • #3
    Quite vivid.

    Comment


    • The second
      The second commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank You ATL

  • #4
    Sometimes, despite years of connectivity, there is no real connection - at least not at the deepest level. It's always been a paradox to me - 'No man is an island.' (John Donne) - and yet, each of us, individually, is. Evocative write TS - as is so much of your work.

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    • The second
      The second commented
      Editing a comment
      I try much RLW Thank You

  • #5
    Love your imagery, JohnTee’s correction of tense really changes the impact of the ending.

    Comment


    • The second
      The second commented
      Editing a comment
      I'm glad you liked Sis G Thank You
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