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  •   Ginger lips

    Ginger lips


    Skin around roses, ginger lips
    I’m hungry to speak but I don’t know you
    In the dreamy light I see a movement
    Swallowing deep green blue oceans
    Shadows and souls, ghost ships
    Vivid yet soft, anxious cloth
    The stage curtain opens
    Far from the ceiling
    Far away from the feeling
    Far off from any comfort
    Yet, there is a calm in the darkness
    Behind the backdrop
    Still, I don’t know a single one of you

    I will proceed with the production anyway

    Sell your life for gold and the fever that controls
    Public enemy is packing
    You the sheep they the wolves
    Everything about you they see
    Everything they see about you is lacking
    The strength in the flock
    The weakness, the disease
    The Vicar is sleeping
    Your priests are molesting
    The profits are dreaming
    The elders are slacking
    The wicked shout, ‘Hallelujah!
    Hell has proclaimed victory in the scattering
    The taking out of the innocent
    Of those that stay on bended knee
    Its Simple manipulation
    Forgive me God for saying this
    Social media responsible for the smattering
    They are sipping the saint’s blood to conceive

    With ginger lips

    Can I tell you this
    Things I’ve come to see
    Things I’ve seen come
    Things I’ve come to see will surely leave
    It’s why I taught myself
    The art of dancing in and out
    On a computation of life’s highways
    With ghosts of shadows
    Behind closed doors with doctors
    Occasionally in front of windows
    But when confronted with the mirror
    I shudder in a tar pit stance
    For over my shoulder
    A feather duster crowd is growing
    Attracting all to the glowing dance
    Collecting tickets
    The ushers explain as they are seating
    If you find it strange or hard in breathing
    Inhale, exhale, gasp to stay alive
    Do anything you can to remain calm through the beating
    Please stay, you must not go
    Decompress from the dive
    To survive the overthrow
    You need to live to die to see this
    It’s even better than any Edger Allan Poe
    We present to you
    Behold the daring, burning at both ends
    The one and only and at last
    The murdering black and white or any color you choose
    The amazing, without further dickering
    Burning down the night
    Melting in your hand
    The never ending candle flickering
    Beautiful home but will continually roam
    To follow the schoolhouse shooting
    Make believe our sons and daughters are still alive
    The Great, Great, Great
    The Great American picture show
    See the saving hero
    See the villain killing and rejecting
    Listen to the sellers selling
    Hear the buyers same old heckling
    In earnest I ask
    Is this what you and I paid for?
    Crossroads and crossed paths
    All this crossing and being crossed
    Arriving here to watch this fu#**ing flash
    To see ginger lips talking at last
    Speaking colored volumes
    Spewing nothing but horse sh*#t
    From out of the horses ass
    Now I’m the one closer to being jaded
    Sold out to rest on the street
    Angry daughters and sons of a bitches
    Marched in the cause, celebrated, paraded
    With two tighter fists
    But most fortunate for you all
    I’ve shortened the writing
    Shortened the sentence
    Ginger lips now shaded
    My self interest in your execution
    Along with my faculties
    Have entirely faded

    RDS
    THE SECOND






  • #2
    I think this would better read if you maintained that pattern/rhythm of the shorter stanza, and the one line between accentuating. Or that is how I would have looked at the poem if I had written it, to try and pick out the themes and rhythms.

    Because it seems my eyes wanted to rush elsewhere during that long stretch. Just my two cents, the material i feel is coming from the heart, which personally burns like a coal often enough, threatening to burst my chest and make fists bloom flowers. But i find imagining it is more healthy than losing my temper or my head.

    During these times, its the poetry which will confuse and make things clear. That is what i feel

    Thank you for sharing.

    Comment


    • #3
      Nice, The second! Phew! To me this read like it wanted to be hard and fast (for some reason with an electronic beat) especially after the ‘With ginger lips’. It pulled me along but I had a hard time keeping up. A break before ‘But most fortunate for you all’ would give me time to recover with the last couple lines.
      Last edited by Muttado1sb; 03-09-2018, 09:20 PM.

      Comment


      • #4
        AmenOra’s suggestion to go with shorter stanzas is a good one as the human eye is lazy. Especially me. I longed to be captured by your poem but the big block of text was intimidation. I’m not sure but I think most of us would love to see you reformat to make it easier to read. However, I appreciate the rush of the heart stream of consciousness style. You can feel the intensity!

        Comment


        • The second
          The second commented
          Editing a comment
          Absolute Sis G I can ramble much Thank You
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