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My story reflected in tears

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  • My story reflected in tears

    My story reflected in tears


    Sad beautiful dark almond eyes
    It’s your thoughts that give me pause
    You are a beautiful statue in the moonlight
    And you loved me even when I didn’t
    love myself


    I tried to hide my tainted heart and find
    my way back home
    To remember that every locked door comes
    with a key
    So I danced to the beat of my own heart



    The shadows of his world fell on me
    He built his dreams on my grave
    Though my story is reflected in my tears
    I know my God loves not only the tree he plants
    but also its shade that provides relief
    Last edited by AlexandratheLate; 02-24-2018, 03:45 AM.

  • #2
    Really beautiful imagery here AlexandratheLate , despite the sad tone. I can even envision the tears watering the tree.

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    • #3
      Thank you very much Paula. I really appreciate.

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      • #4
        minor, inconsequential error: 'it's' shouldn't have an apostrophe unless it's a contraction: "it's/it is."

        I loved the poem. It was beautiful, capturing. However I feel at its most strong part, the sort of pivot, you say "dance to the beat of my heart"; and I am sure this could be better said, not so cliche? Personally I feel it would have more effect "otherwise".

        It reminded me of staying centered, on an axis, even while things are uneven! The flow and stresses on words pulled me through, and I am glad to be here~

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        • AlexandratheLate
          AlexandratheLate commented
          Editing a comment
          I used it as a contraction of ‘it is’ and I looked up cliches on the web and ‘danced or dances to the beat of my heart’ was not listed as a cliche but rather ‘dance to the beat of a different drum’.

      • #5
        Thank you very much amenOra for reading and commenting. I really appreciate your comment.

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        • #6
          Thank you for the like.

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          • #7
            I liked the reflection here examined the sadness in a calm way with excellent imagery

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            • #8
              Thank you very much Jon.

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              • #9
                I see you in this light Alexandra. Reflecting beauty, wisdom and grace.

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                • AlexandratheLate
                  AlexandratheLate commented
                  Editing a comment
                  Thank you very much Bobby. I really appreciate it.

              • #10
                Thank you Mutaddo for the like. I really appreciate it.

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                • #11
                  Like all your work this verse touch my heart

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                  • AlexandratheLate
                    AlexandratheLate commented
                    Editing a comment
                    Thank you very much Rhymetime. I really appreciate it.

                • #12
                  As always ATL passion passion passion very nice

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                  • #13
                    Thank you very much TS.

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