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There Was A Young Girl Who Lived In A Shoe

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  • There Was A Young Girl Who Lived In A Shoe

    A funny story poem inspired by the Mother Goose rhyme 'There Was An Old Woman Who Lived in A Shoe' My poem has a similar but different title! Lmao! (Well, at least, the end is funny!)


    There was a young girl
    who lived in a shoe
    She married an old man
    like she was told to

    Her parents married her off
    to this wretched old man
    Because he gave them the deed
    to a small piece of lan'

    That old coot was a madman
    You would think he had rabies
    And he kept her knocked up
    so she had lots of babies

    He would tell her ----- he loved her
    like all liars do
    But she quickly found out
    that his words were untrue

    The old geezer's name
    was Paddy O'Grady
    And he was foolin' around
    with another young lady

    Now ---- that old man was nasty
    And he would often say ------ he was hung
    He said he liked his girls pretty
    and that he liked them real young

    He would party all night
    Like nothing else mattered
    And when he came home
    the girl was beaten and battered

    The girl had dozens of children
    but a few of them died
    And when their father came home
    they would all run to hide

    Now ------ the kind of shoe she lived in
    was a cheap Penny Loafer
    which was much too small
    for a TV and sofa

    That old shoe was barely
    big enough to be able
    to fit a few wooden chairs
    and a small kitchen table

    Well ----- one night the old man
    came home ---- really mad
    He slapped her ----- and kicked her
    and beat her ----- really bad

    He beat her so bad
    she could barely get off the floor
    And she was covered in bruises
    Her whole body felt sore

    He blacked both of her eyes
    like he did twice before
    And she finally decided
    that she would take it no more

    The old man was so drunk
    that he was soon fast asleep
    And the girl thought to herself,
    I should kill this old creep

    But the girl ----- soon changed her mind
    And she came up with a plan
    She thought ------ Now is my chance
    to get away from this man

    So ----- the young girl ran away
    and she got a good job
    The old man's life fell apart
    and he became an old slob

    The young girl ----- hired a lawyer
    and she divorced ------ the old coot
    And moved ------ all of her children
    into ------ a shiny new boot!

    Last edited by Rhymeboy; 01-13-2018, 01:54 AM.