A funny story poem inspired by the Mother Goose rhyme 'There Was An Old Woman Who Lived in A Shoe' My poem has a similar but different title! Lmao! (Well, at least, the end is funny!)


There was a young girl
who lived in a shoe
She married an old man
like she was told to

Her parents married her off
to this wretched old man
Because he gave them the deed
to a small piece of lan'

That old coot was a madman
You would think he had rabies
And he kept her knocked up
so she had lots of babies

He would tell her ----- he loved her
like all liars do
But she quickly found out
that his words were untrue

The old geezer's name
was Paddy O'Grady
And he was foolin' around
with another young lady

Now ---- that old man was nasty
And he would often say ------ he was hung
He said he liked his girls pretty
and that he liked them real young

He would party all night
Like nothing else mattered
And when he came home
the girl was beaten and battered

The girl had dozens of children
but a few of them died
And when their father came home
they would all run to hide

Now ------ the kind of shoe she lived in
was a cheap Penny Loafer
which was much too small
for a TV and sofa

That old shoe was barely
big enough to be able
to fit a few wooden chairs
and a small kitchen table

Well ----- one night the old man
came home ---- really mad
He slapped her ----- and kicked her
and beat her ----- really bad

He beat her so bad
she could barely get off the floor
And she was covered in bruises
Her whole body felt sore

He blacked both of her eyes
like he did twice before
And she finally decided
that she would take it no more

The old man was so drunk
that he was soon fast asleep
And the girl thought to herself,
I should kill this old creep

But the girl ----- soon changed her mind
And she came up with a plan
She thought ------ Now is my chance
to get away from this man

So ----- the young girl ran away
and she got a good job
The old man's life fell apart
and he became an old slob

The young girl ----- hired a lawyer
and she divorced ------ the old coot
And moved ------ all of her children
into ------ a shiny new boot!