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love falls silently

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  • love falls silently

    love falls silently

    still
    they come
    angry drops
    stabbing, painful
    beating panes, then
    soft reflective beads no
    escape they well up as a reservoir
    you could drown in
    then overflowing
    love falls
    silently

  • #2
    i noticed the 'ly' added silent to silently. nice play with words. any specific form, it sort of reminds me of rictameter, i think? the ending is really calming. It reminds me of after the outbursts how we are so drained there is some peace, or maybe just sleep? Falling silently. Kinda sad, however. Anger at you/of you. The cycle of hurt.
    It does not leave me with a sense of resolution that is the sad part. See because it will be repeated, and where does one learn the lesson? Hm... From one level of consciousnes it is no problem at all.

    Ok, just my lil dip into what it meant/felt to me. Thanks for sharing, Moony!

    Or is it just -- heavy rain? I could use heavy rain!!!

    Comment


    • mooneyblack
      mooneyblack commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you for the read and very reflective response amenOra. No specific form; I wrote it as even lines initially and then re-worked it to represent a build-up of tears - I'm pretty clueless on form and that's something I need to address. You are quite right in your observation of there being no resolution here. This was written for a friend whose baby was born still, I have written several pieces for her to use on a memorial page she keeps. However, another writer I know also wrote a piece on the death of her baby; it was written from the baby's perspective. It was heartwrenching yet beautiful. As an accomplished writer, she tried to have the piece published thinking it may help others but was knocked back repeatedly. She asked for support from a network I belong to in order to share it out so I sent it to my friend rather tentatively as I knew it was a difficult piece to read. It was a very difficult read for her yet she appreciated it immensely and our conversation led to that of silent tears, internal even.
      I did put it with a photo of a small waterfall with pools of water so the rain aspect works too!
      Thank you for taking the time to read and reflect on this one - I do appreciate it.
      Last edited by mooneyblack; 01-10-2018, 02:24 AM.

    • RhymeLovingWriter
      RhymeLovingWriter commented
      Editing a comment
      Wow - now the opening, 'still' packs the punch in this with the double meaning based on its genesis. Again - awesome job MB!

  • #3
    I like amenOra 's observations. I also like the way almost each line could stand alone but bled into the next with anticipation. The juxtaposition of title word choice (i.e. silently) against the violent action in the first half particularly, grips me. Great choice on formatting for effect too! Kudos, Karen!

    Comment


    • mooneyblack
      mooneyblack commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you, Paula. I'll not repeat my long winded response to amenOra above. Whilst I just played with the format but the sentiment was a serious one that perhaps could fit many a situation of loss that, whilst accepted, is always there. Thanks again for the read and your insight Paula

  • #4
    Beautiful Karen. Just captured by this.

    Comment


    • mooneyblack
      mooneyblack commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you, Alexandra; I'm glad it touched you. I appreciate the read and feedback. Whilst it was written in response to a specific circumstance I think many of us have felt that the pressure of that internal "reservoir", for whatever reason

  • #5
    Thank you Muttado1sb and Tonysp for the likes

    Comment


    • #6
      Hello Karen, To never hear a word, feel a breath or the warmth of a touch. The pain of a parting, a love lost before welcomed. As sad as your words fall beautifully into verse. Fond regards, Tony.

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