Wine by the Box

[Sister Greed]

Yes, I love your idea Mooneyblack.

[mooneyblack]

The only thing I'd tweak to make it even more accessible is 'A mysterious bruise' this speaks to me of physical domestic violence. I was thinking of some other measure of control that 'shackles' or fetters freedom of choice may be 'diamond cuff' / diamond shackle or just 'sparkling' as in it's not a real relationship - if you know what I mean - just a thought?

[Sister Greed]

Thanks ATL. There’s one for all of us! A test of mental and emotional strength...

[AlexandratheLate]

You had me at the title SG. I especially liked gaslighting your new angle - sounds like someone i know - all
about appearances.

[Sister Greed]

Thank you Parkinsonspoet! That’s an honor.

[Sister Greed]

Mooneyblack, I’d love to see you tweak it! Suggestions are definitely exciting and welcome!

[Sister Greed]

Yes, the subject of the poem is actually the spinning tangle as a result of the family and social relationships. I also became a part of it with a few favors done me, it almost looked so good. The wicked web of materialism! And what happens when you ask for what you want or need outright. Those are the family rules. I’m curious what else you read the poem as...

[Sister Greed]

Ha, amenOra, I’m not sure how to put it into words! This was a writer’s prompt, I feel it needs a lot more finessing, but I decided to leave it ‘rough.’ I guess I wanted it to hiss some more! Thanks for your read and comments.

[Parkinsonspoet]

Sister this had me grinning it is laced with wit

[mooneyblack]

The price some pay to maintain a social status! Cleverly done and could apply to many with a tweak here and there.

[Bobby Del Boy]

It’s not what it appears to be or does it? And how many superficial relationships are in this “spinning tangle”

[amenOra]

I enjoyed that, but not sure how to put it into words. You did that well. Your ear seems especially attuned to te currents of modern conversation, set into a poetic tone ... bare ... unapologetic, really ... laced with sardonic, hissing wit.

I just could feel the currents, upon reading about that "bruise". Kudos-- I enjoyed your piece.

[Sister Greed]

Gucci tennis shoes

So expensive

Lips and cheeks by Dr. So and So

And so expensive.

Wine by the box

lampshade nightgowns

A mysterious

Bruise




A fuck off text

So convincing

“I’m shocked you’d ask”

And so convincing.




Cold hearted, snake

Cold hearted, honey

Cold hearted, thaw.




To the flame moth

Gaslighting your new angle

Spinning tangle

The family show

Holes in your Ralph Lauren heart cloth