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  • Unspoken

    Unspoken

    Old rotten cloths
    Hang in that damp
    Musty room that
    Cannot be aired

    Pegged tightly
    Many years ago
    Heat; condensation
    Decaying inside

    Windows steamed up
    Jammed or locked
    Keeping intruders out
    And regrets within

  • #2
    Hello Karen, In a foul state of abandonment, rank with regrets. Who'd dare to enter such a stale state of history. This is real poetry, I must say - no frills on this one. Splendid, without doubt. All set for Christmas, is that which should be mulled, mulling. May your Christmas be rich with merriment, Tony.

    Comment


    • mooneyblack
      mooneyblack commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you, Tony. Perhaps sometime when you wring out cloths such as these you get a poem?? I shall steep my insides with something sweeter - have a good one. K

  • #3
    An affecting, lean-lined metaphor, left as hanging as the cloths themselves. Striking work, mooneyblack.

    Comment


    • mooneyblack
      mooneyblack commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you, Grant, such praise is a Christmas gift in itself. My education here continues; thank you.

  • #4
    Mooneyblack, love your stuff. Your imagery is delicious.

    Comment


    • mooneyblack
      mooneyblack commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you, Sister Greed. I really appreciate the feedback.

  • #5
    Some of your best work!

    Refined to a spear point!

    Comment


    • mooneyblack
      mooneyblack commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you, Dwayne; I shall wring those cloths out from time to time.

  • #6
    mooneyblack , you dig deep in your emotional well for this write. Now I will read other comments for a clue to your inspiration. Well done Mooney.

    Comment


    • mooneyblack
      mooneyblack commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you bobby Del Boy. Yes, this was a deep dig - well spotted. The cloths represent unspoken conversations, the unaired words of which then rot and cause harm (rust) then the inability to have the conversation creating a barrier perhaps of protection and retaining those regrets. The damp represents the internal tears and perhaps blurred view.
      Last edited by mooneyblack; 01-03-2018, 11:51 AM.

  • #7
    thoughtful imagery portrayed skilfully , the last line says sd much and is a perfect ending

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    • #8
      Strikingly sad reflection for certain, mooneyblack .

      Comment


      • mooneyblack
        mooneyblack commented
        Editing a comment
        Thanks for the read Paula; yes a sad one I agree.

    • #9
      Back for a third read of Unspoken. I really like your simple views and the weight of emotion attached. It’s a perfectly balanced style in which you see. Are you a photographer? — Sister Greed

      Comment


      • mooneyblack
        mooneyblack commented
        Editing a comment
        Thank you very much Sister Greed. No, I'm not a photographer but do enjoy it as a hobby and often put a few lines with a photo if it 'speaks' to me - you can see more at www.facebook.com/ObservationsInRhyme if you wish

      • RhymeLovingWriter
        RhymeLovingWriter commented
        Editing a comment
        She's being modest - her photos are wonderful!

      • mooneyblack
        mooneyblack commented
        Editing a comment
        You're too kind Paula and I thank you for it. Just before I wrote this I went outside to see if I could capture a photo of an amazing starry sky, however, my camera is not co-operating or else I need lessons on how to use it outside of an automatic setting - so I did a little stargazing instead!!

    • #10
      Thank you for the likes Rhymeboy and Muttado1sb

      Comment


      • #11
        mooneyblack, Poetic inspiration is where you find it! In the smallest of things, your metaphors are hauntingly beautiful. The last line is a killer!!!!!

        Comment


        • mooneyblack
          mooneyblack commented
          Editing a comment
          Tanner thank you so much for the read and feedback; very much appreciated and most encouraging. I'm reading all you guys and hopefully learning.
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