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Restless Mind

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  • Restless Mind

    Restless Mind

    What I wouldn’t give
    For just a penny’s worth
    Of understanding at 4 am
    To settle a restless mind

    I roll into that dip in the bed
    Hoping that you’ll be there
    Sniff the remaining scent
    On the shirt, you left behind

    Fading; as scars of departure
    With freshly cut wounds
    Cleansed then, by my tears
    Yet they still fall in my mind

  • #2
    I am not the best at analysis here but for me your poetry is progressing and this is strong,. It has a calm feel but is also emotive.

    Comment


    • mooneyblack
      mooneyblack commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you for stopping by for a read; I really appreciate your feedback. Your comment is very encouraging and I do feel that I have learned from others including yourself in the Zone and hope to improve and learn as I go. Many Thanks Parkinsonspoet

  • #3
    Wow, this is powerful, mooneyblack. Your diction here is pure, uncluttered, and beautifully paced; this shoots directly to the heart without being sidetracked by sentimentality. Really impressive, moving work. I salute!

    Comment


    • mooneyblack
      mooneyblack commented
      Editing a comment
      I'm humbled by your comments grant hayes. Many thanks; I'm learning here from yourself and others and so appreciate the read and feedback.

  • #4
    I really like your opening stanza, mooneyblack! It definitely sets the tone. Beautiful poetry as usual.

    Comment


    • mooneyblack
      mooneyblack commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you very much, Sister Greed. I appreciate the read and your feedback. So glad I added that one now - only had the second two originally but felt it lacked context.

  • #5
    Quite sad in its depiction of reflection and association.

    Comment


    • mooneyblack
      mooneyblack commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi AtL, thank you for the read and feedback. Yes, another sad one; I'll have to shake myself, it's becoming a habit

  • #6
    I agree with those before me in comments. This is powerfully beautiful.

    Comment


    • mooneyblack
      mooneyblack commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you, Paula. I really appreciate your read and feedback.

  • #7
    Mooneyblack, back for another feel of this poem. You are a fantastic poet. Just thought you should hear it again! — Sister Greed 💜

    Comment


    • mooneyblack
      mooneyblack commented
      Editing a comment
      Oh wow! Sister Greed, thank you so much.

  • #8
    Thank you for the like Muttado1sb

    Comment


    • #9
      mooneyblack - You had me first with the title, but the whole poem is exceptionally fluid, dense and exquisitely wrought - no excess baggage in this small
      masterpiece!

      Comment


      • mooneyblack
        mooneyblack commented
        Editing a comment
        Tanner thank you so much, I'm humbled and my journey of learning continues.
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