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My Lost Voice (Addictions and trials)

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  • My Lost Voice (Addictions and trials)

    Stuck inside you.

    I wanted just to push
    And then when you pulled me
    I fell to the ground in a rush;
    I blushed beneath your touch
    A vitamin as sharp as a needle,
    And I'll never forget your smile.

    You painlessly enter me,
    I remember nothing, ever after;
    Pounding and nailed,
    I am beyond boredom
    A veil over my eyes, in a few
    Hours I'll be crawling
    To get from out of my skin.

    I sequence and I lure,
    I tell the truth is lies, I'm patient:
    When you empty yourself,
    And your pockets, I nab
    The dignity you had;
    I watch you scratch
    Like a cat on the stair.

    I understand your want
    A longing to be drowned,
    And I know the secret
    You're not as strong as I am.
    You put yourself away,
    Again inside that hole.

    Back at the beginning,
    You're fraught and you're frail;
    You see demons and ghosts
    And the air is half-stale,
    As you realize the perfume
    Is really the rotting food,
    And the couch houses roaches.

    Infested like your tongue,
    Inside the spaces you were made,
    I laugh because you're gullible,
    But in your hands I'm malleable.
    I can make what you say
    Seem like it's true and real.
    I can half the halfs,
    And I find you when you're lost.

    The truth as it flies
    Like flies to the tongue of frogs:
    I peep into your nest
    And sing about you
    Trying to sleep
    I am bothering you
    Aren't I? At least you listen.

    I am the hungry toddler
    Trying to be forgotten.
    I am the vastness of space
    And the dinosaur fangs.
    I am the distance we pray between
    And being wrong is us.
    What else, other than my name
    Addiction, you'll believe
    Because it's convenient this way,

    In my bag are more than tricks,
    And I am naked as a fist,
    Come trampling through the roof,
    With my barrage of numbers:
    At last!-- you've succumbed.
    You broke the wall in anger,
    You nodded off to Never.

    Where you go, the tears kill us,
    We drown in what we did.
    Now from behind the eyelids,
    The voice can't tell what it is.
    I cannot understand anymore
    How this world works,
    And I'm broken and helpless.

    The irony, I can't even want tears,
    For my swollen glands
    Filled with dust, and the blinds
    All make music of the air,
    Half-stale, almost pale,
    The smoke moved around.
    A vantage point established,
    I forget forever but
    I have to recover myself.

    Who profits from this,
    Who lives in silent bliss
    Who climbs for free,
    Higher than mountains,
    Who loves without me,
    I am unconfused.

  • #2
    Powerfully raw and honest; I'm reeling from the reality! Excellent work, amenOra. May you fight on, always.


    • #3
      This is a profoundly poetic work of art!


      • #4
        What a fight and so descriptive.


        • #5
          Magnificent, amenOra; thank you for sharing this searching and insightful work, so full of humanity.


          • #6
            Thank you for reading and commenting, Katray, Dwayne, Alexandra and Grant ...


            • #7
              So raw, powerful yet vulnerable a heartbreaking read in many ways. Thank you for sharing