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Lover's Poem

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  • Lover's Poem

    When the morning sun starts to rise,

    Lighting up the ashen skies.

    When the cool breeze softly sighs,

    Know that I love you.




    When the sun is high at noon,

    And the brook sings its lively tune.

    When the birds chirp because it’s June,

    Know my heart is yours.




    When as the sun begins to set,

    And your wondering if there’s regrets.

    When the stars shine through silver nets,

    Know that I think of you.




    For when the moon is on the rise,

    Reflecting the light of your pearl grey eyes,

    I’ll come to the place where my heart lies,

    Forever joined with yours.


  • #2
    Quite lovely. Would make a great card.

    Comment


    • #3
      Wow. This is a beautiful 1st post!

      Comment


      • #4
        Welcome to the Zone jaybird. Yes, a beautifully written love poem. Top of the queue!

        Comment


        • #5
          Jaybird, Lovely poem. Minor miscue - "your wondering" should be "you're wondering" I believe. Enthralling net of words that
          draw the reader in.

          Comment


          • RhymeLovingWriter
            RhymeLovingWriter commented
            Editing a comment
            Help me here Tanner - could 'your' be used as a possessive adjective here? As in, not my wondering, but your wondering? Actually, not being a grammarian I'm not even sure there is such a category as possessive adjective, but it's a modifier of a noun, and indicates possession, so I put them together. Yes, you can see, if I ever do finish a book I'm going to need a very, very good editor.

        • #6
          I could be wrong grammar is not my forte (pronounced fort with a silent e by the way. Its only pronounced for-tay when used in music) ok haha

          "you're" would make more sense because the action is "you are wondering"

          if "your wondering " is used as a descriptor then there would need to be another action maybe something like " your wondering lights the night"

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          • #7
            You’re is descriptive, your is possessive

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