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Poet's Sway (Weeded..:)

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  • Poet's Sway (Weeded..:)

    hearts taste butter-brickle vine
    tempting be the taste of our wine.
    Twining embraces, we drink as one..

    she loves golden ray,
    she swings
    where the hornets dance
    Wings of unchained creatures murmur close as we arch to heavens, but do not sting. Harmony with nature is the depth of our strength. In thine arms, I am fearless, we are set free.

    she has eyes
    sweet eyes that shine
    the pith of me sings for thee
    come to me - long rise our words
    I gaze the power of goodness emanating, mine sight opens only onto thy lines,
    the language of thee wakens me, spoken in a knowing ring.

    blood pounding
    ..Thou art the heat in every cell and breath of mine...
    and there we sat
    unable to move
    save for that welcome
    throw of passions borne
    desire feeds the carnal fires
    there we are,
    Joined through each sensual storm:
    within me, I feel the motions of thee...

    Bahama Lady
    she loves the sun
    hearts cling
    Maestro of the Source,
    the hour harkens to a deserted isle where you and I reside. Fruits of rainbow hues, sweet, tart and gifting of energy are growing, ripened and in the morrow budding tender turns. Waterfalls serenade the sea, tides of
    moon and minuet beckon our rhythm - all that is needed for us to be: spread by the ages,
    suns and atmospheres of distant stars - You and I live

  • #2
    The first stanza - the best of them - has been nicely pruned; 'embraces' could well be lopped too. The archaic pronouns detract, I think, though plenty of readers will probably find them 'poetic' and charming.


    • Katray
      Katray commented
      Editing a comment
      Thanks much, Grant; your input is invaluable!

  • #3
    I agree with Grant, Katray. Your word choices put the poem in another class. No need to bog it down with language that’s difficult to read. We see you’re a worthy poet!


    • Katray
      Katray commented
      Editing a comment
      Greatly appreciated, Sister. I agree too!