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  • Jury duty

    Jury duty


    People from all backgrounds and walk of life
    Short and tall to thin and stout
    Some very quiet and some are quite loud
    Making new friends, others too proud


    I saw some in suits and many dressed up
    others dressed casually in jeans
    Laughing and coughing, allergies it seems
    Some wish to leave, fulfill their dreams


    Seated by numbers, making no sense at all
    Like restless cattle, in these four walls
    Wondering whether we will be called
    People are bored, some are enthralled

    the judge walks in and dismisses us all
    Last edited by AlexandratheLate; 12-01-2017, 06:51 PM.

  • #2
    I love this Line in particular “Some wish to leave, fulfill their dreams” and the irony of somebody’s life in the balance. A great poem. I’m a filmmaker ATL, so I see story as wide establishing shot, medium shot, close up, etc.. You have good solid wide shots. Observance. Let’s see your close ups, ATL.

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    • AlexandratheLate
      AlexandratheLate commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you sister greed - i knew your talents were many.

  • #3
    Thank you for the like Grant.
    Last edited by AlexandratheLate; 11-29-2017, 04:15 PM.

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    • #4
      Thank you Bobby for the like.

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      • #5
        People from all walks of life
        short and tall, thin and stout
        Some are quiet and some are loud
        making new friends, others too proud

        Some in suits and many dressed up
        others dressed in casual jeans
        Laughing,coughing, allergies seem
        wishing to leave, pursue their dreams

        I hope you don’t mind Alexandra, I never do this
        what do you think?

        Comment


        • AlexandratheLate
          AlexandratheLate commented
          Editing a comment
          I like it. Thank you very much. I had it similar in my earlier version but then wanted to keep a 10/8 syllable count but even that didn’t work. I really like what you did thank you friend.

      • #6
        The jury has spoken Alexandra. You’re a good sport!

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        • #7
          Thank you very much for the like Mutaddo. I really appreciate it.

          Comment


          • #8
            Good, clear observation here, Alexandra. To me it has a narrative potential about it; seems like something should 'happen next'.

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          • #9
            Thank you Katray for the like.

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            • #10
              I like the descriptions here and how you kept it natural.

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              • #11
                Never having been called (though my day is probably coming), I too like how you took this out of my 'television only experience' and made it seem real and ordinary.

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                • AlexandratheLate
                  AlexandratheLate commented
                  Editing a comment
                  Thank you very much Paula. It was interesting.
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