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Coming Shortly to this Theater

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  • Coming Shortly to this Theater

    Coming Shortly 23rd Nov. 2017


    A heatless sun

    bids me say

    "In the scale tell, pray,,

    Autumn, what's left of its' worth,

    four weeks to the shortest day?"

    Leaves, that only knew the sky,

    crisped and trailed to sodden earth

    corrupting slow in cold decay

    while Winter turns the year to clay

    awaiting greening Spring's rebirth.

    so I’m forced to ask

    "In the scale tell, pray,

    Solstice, what does it weigh?"
    Last edited by Johntee; 11-24-2017, 05:41 AM.

  • #2
    Just another day at the old equator. I do so love the flow of this poem and message doesn't escape me.

    Comment


    • Johntee
      Johntee commented
      Editing a comment
      Roast as you boast, I say!

  • #3
    It weighs as light as pleasure born
    of 'no-school' gift on snowy morn
    Or scaled to sadness, hard to own
    when drifts trap one poor soul alone
    Perhaps in middling field it rests
    as moistured blanket, welcomed guest;
    Or howling fierce as nature's pawn
    displaces tons from dusk to dawn

    whatever form or weight sets tare
    we brace for bite - and then forbear

    Comment


    • Johntee
      Johntee commented
      Editing a comment
      This should be out on its own
      RLW. It matches mine
      and then adds on.

      I invite you to slaughter
      "Coming Shortly"
      to fit the, what I thought,
      unanswerable question,
      around your piece
      as a standalone.
      Last edited by Johntee; 11-27-2017, 06:21 AM.

    • RhymeLovingWriter
      RhymeLovingWriter commented
      Editing a comment
      I'll try and see what I can come up with. Thanks for the invitation.

  • #4
    This is very nice, Johntee!

    Comment


    • Johntee
      Johntee commented
      Editing a comment
      Thanks Muttado
      Another idle hour passed

  • #5
    This is lovely Johntee.

    Comment


    • Johntee
      Johntee commented
      Editing a comment
      Thanks MB
      Driving, I'm blinded by the sun
      and frozen fingered
      by the steering wheel
      Last edited by Johntee; 11-25-2017, 05:32 AM.

  • #6
    Elegantly wrought, charmingly conceived, and clever, Johntee. Salutes.

    Comment


    • #7
      Thoroughly enjoyed this so well written finished perfectly with a killer line

      Comment


      • Johntee
        Johntee commented
        Editing a comment
        I thought it was,
        leaving it as a nonsensensical
        unanswerable question
        but RLW
        has shown me I'm wrong.

    • #8
      I agree with what’s been said-perfect flow and lovely.

      Comment


      • Johntee
        Johntee commented
        Editing a comment
        Thanks Alex
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