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  • Diagnosis

    Unknown condition
    (Tell me, tell me)
    Body quivering
    (Tell me, please tell me)

    Don't want to feel
    Don't want to know
    Forced to suffer
    When I lose control

    Paranoia and sickness
    (Tell me, tell me)
    I'm choking on the inside
    (Doctor, tell me)
    (Doctor, please help me)

    Don't want to feel
    Don't want to know
    Made to suffer
    When the signs show

    Analyse
    And terrify
    I shake
    With the fear
    Analyse
    And traumatise
    I freeze, and shake
    The end is coming near


    The end is near
    The end is near
    ~~~

    Since joining here almost a year ago, the first entry that I had seen here was Parkinsonspoet's "Diagnosis at first shake" which I still remembered very clearly. From what I remembered, this one is merely an inspiration from his, but on a more darker take on the subject he wrote about.

  • #2
    Bry89 That is a huge complement and I am delighted. I love what you have done with the poem. Just one thing to bear in mind Poem is called diagnosis and ends with end is near.Parkinsons is a quality of life issue and doesn't directly cause death.For most people there would be a large gap between diagnosis and what happens later in the poemwhich seems to suggest everything at once. I do like it though

    Comment


    • Bry89
      Bry89 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hold on... yours was about your own condition? I apologise... I didn't realise. When I wrote this though, I just had any disease in mind like a tropical illness or something as harsh as it. The "shake" part was just of the subject experiencing potential fear and trauma from it all. I'm glad you liked it though

    • RhymeLovingWriter
      RhymeLovingWriter commented
      Editing a comment
      You should check out Jon's blog - it's great!

  • #3
    No apologies necessary it never occurred to me that your as it was inspired by mine wasn't about Parkinson's now you said it makes sense . Thank you.

    Comment


    • #4
      The angst you convey, is striking!

      Comment


      • Bry89
        Bry89 commented
        Editing a comment
        Thank you very much

    • #5
      Well described and formed, Bry! That anxious feeling waiting to learn what is wrong, and what it means, even when you went to see the doctor for something simple.

      Comment

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