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    Stand


    Do not believe the lie you're told
    that none could ever have and hold
    another heart for days beyond
    love's first soft blush. Extend each frond
    of daily life that grows to bush
    without a need for self-served push;
    to yield, at times is stronger still
    than all demands voiced loud and shrill.

    Stand side by side; love heart to heart;
    endure with patience days apart
    as each arrives, then passes on
    beyond the missing pieces. Drawn
    as deep on deep from well to cope,
    to nourish, heal, confess in hope
    that more is offered other's way
    than longed for first. And then, just stay.


    Written in response to a challenge to write a 'strong poem'. Since I've no idea exactly what that meant - this is what I submitted.
    Last edited by RhymeLovingWriter; 11-08-2017, 09:38 PM.

  • #2
    There is strength in these words and this poem, RLW! And its structure is sound. I think you’ve found ‘strong’ multiple ways here. And it is lovely as well. Your ending, ‘And then, just stay’ wraps it up so well. Wonderful!

    Comment


    • RhymeLovingWriter
      RhymeLovingWriter commented
      Editing a comment
      Thanks Muttado1sb. I try one of the challenges every now and again - just to stretch and learn new skills.

  • #3
    Read this on your blog and loved it there too, Paula. Beautiful

    Comment


  • #4
    I'd say you more than met the challenge!

    I especially loved the last paragraph!

    Comment


    • RhymeLovingWriter
      RhymeLovingWriter commented
      Editing a comment
      Thanks DWAYNE. I've been mostly offline for the past several days again. I'll have to go back and check out some of the other entries. I appreciate your taking time to look and leave a like and comment.

  • #5
    There is strength in truly loving someone. Your words certainly conveyed that Paula.

    Comment


    • RhymeLovingWriter
      RhymeLovingWriter commented
      Editing a comment
      Thanks AlexandratheLate! There is always strength in true love - and it doesn't always look the way I've portrayed it here. I've often thought that saying no - or making difficult decisions - takes real strength.

      As for poetry - even after what feels like at least like a little time trying my hand at it - I learn new things almost every day. I like that - even when it frustrates me.

  • #6
    I don't know that I'd describe this as 'strong' in any obvious way. I'd describe it as beautifully wrought, lyrical, with a moral elegantly stated. I'd say there is a lissome strength at the heart of it. Regardless of what the 'challenge' required, it is a virtuoso piece, a tasty course of couplets. Zesta!

    Comment


    • RhymeLovingWriter
      RhymeLovingWriter commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you very much Grant. I appreciate that it came across to you as such. I like the idea of 'lissome strength'. It suits me as a quality worthy of cultivation.

  • #7
    I can see strength portrayed through a patient, loving forbearance in this poem.
    Excellent example of a couplet poem that is dynamic in its meter.

    Comment


    • RhymeLovingWriter
      RhymeLovingWriter commented
      Editing a comment
      Thanks BiocideJ for taking a look. I don't think I've ever heard about being 'dynamic in meter' before. Care to elaborate?

    • BiocideJ
      BiocideJ commented
      Editing a comment
      It may only be a 'me' thing, (and meter is probably the wrong word) but I dislike how couplet poems tend to always be just a constant repeating sound

      Ex. roses are red
      violets are blue

      With each successive line just having the the same meter (as if just saying those two lines over and over)

      Your poem reads more like naturally, I guess, is what I'm saying.

    • RhymeLovingWriter
      RhymeLovingWriter commented
      Editing a comment
      OK, that's good then. I like to do that and either use internal rhyme, or use end rhyme, but not with a strict cadence - so that the thought or phrase carries on to the following line. I'm still experimenting to see if that type of formatting helps or hurts my finished product. I appreciate you taking time to explain.
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