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When One Ponders Prodigiously

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  • When One Ponders Prodigiously

    When One Ponders Prodigiously


    courtly inquire now in session
    found at fault my strange obsession
    to consider endlessly the way things
    ought to be

    mangled mirrors of house divided
    imaged feelings – coincided
    with a weary apathy which skewed what
    eye could see

    when, in fact, a base was landed
    somewhere out in time expanded
    far beyond the boundaries of heaven’s
    stormy sea

    then, at last, a peace was hinted
    coins of realm stood newly minted;
    reconnoitered point of entry paid to
    set you free





  • #2
    Many likes Paula!! Questioning and seeing how things ought to be and finally Coming to terms and acceptance. There is a sadness and frustration in this poem that I can so relate to.
    Last edited by AlexandratheLate; 10-30-2017, 12:54 PM.

    Comment


    • RhymeLovingWriter
      RhymeLovingWriter commented
      Editing a comment
      Thanks Alex. Yes, so many emotions, those among them, making appearance in turn these days. Thanks for the read and like - and especially taking time to leave a comment.

  • #3
    As ever, the structure is brilliantly conceived. The tetrameter of the first two lines in each stanza sets up a familiar rhythm, which is then scattered somewhat in the third line before the emphatic three-syllable final line (all four of these rhyming too!). The third lines initially gave me trouble; wasn't sure you'd got the flow quite right, but I'm coming around to them; I daresay it's me that hasn't got them quite right! . I think the title would work if the piece were light and humorous, but in relation to what follows - which I took to be serious, though not heavy - it seems kind of pompous.

    Comment


    • RhymeLovingWriter
      RhymeLovingWriter commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you Grant. Those third lines were broken up the way they were to fit the fourth line three syllable structure - perhaps not to the best effect. As for the title - it is me poking fun at myself. I've often been told that I 'think too much' and should 'lighten up and go with the flow' (yes, those are exact quotes often pointed in my direction). So I'm attempting to find a lightness in the dark. Does that help?

    • grant hayes
      grant hayes commented
      Editing a comment
      The title is clever, and yes, the hint of self-deprecation comes through, now you mention it, but I feel the poem itself is not that 'fun'-poking, more straightforwardly reflective.

      I have also been chided that I 'think too much', which is not to say I am thoughtful - that would be a compliment - but rather that I am gratuitously analytical. I accept the reproach, and admit the flaw in my character, and wish I were other than I am, but no god grants those wishes.

    • RhymeLovingWriter
      RhymeLovingWriter commented
      Editing a comment
      Apparently we have more in common than writing poetry.

  • #4
    My favorite part was where I was transported--- the grey stormy sea. Very well done, if I might say so Myself! Thanks for sharing...
    Kudos!

    Comment


    • RhymeLovingWriter
      RhymeLovingWriter commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you amenOra. The tossing about appears unbidden, but resolution comes with perseverance. That's the muscle I hope to build with all this repetition.

  • #5
    this is great. Title works for me really well. I am not quite with Grant but can see what he means.
    Judge calls witness thoughts to order
    Witless thoughts testimony reorder
    Judges hammer finds kernals of truth
    Nuts make plea
    I have only done this quickly and it doesn't flow as well as your verse but it is my attempt to show how you can be more openly playful with language. Although not sure it helps as result is more me than you.

    Comment


    • RhymeLovingWriter
      RhymeLovingWriter commented
      Editing a comment
      I like that you put your own spin on this Jon - it gives me, as you say, a more playful view. These days my thoughts are mostly running on dirge mentality. I've heard and read that when you suffer the loss of someone you love, 'fuzz-brain' is not unusual. Let's just say I would make Winnie-the-Pooh, whose head is stuffed with fluff - rather proud in the way my half-thoughts boomerang about inside my skull.

  • #6
    Perception comes in deep refection, agree to disagree.

    When comes the time for inversions

    It will be plain for all to see

    Some wonderful thoughts and insightful writing RLW

    Comment


    • RhymeLovingWriter
      RhymeLovingWriter commented
      Editing a comment
      Ah thank you divot - this is beautiful. I'm looking forward to the clarity that so often escapes me now, or seems only to find me upon fleeting happenstance.

  • #7
    A wonderful self-perspective on analysis, RLW, from the judging by others at the start to the penny for your thoughts ending! And you made the rhyme-scheme very fitting. It took three reads for me to catch the rhyme inside lines three and four. Very nice!

    Comment


    • RhymeLovingWriter
      RhymeLovingWriter commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you Muttado1sb. I'm not even sure I was aware of that myself until you pointed it out! It's just the way the words presented themselves in my ever-rhyming thought pattern. Amazing.
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