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  • Lucifer

    Deleted
    Last edited by grant hayes; 12-25-2017, 05:56 PM.

  • #2
    This is an amalgam of two previously shared pieces, 'Lucifer' and 'Man the weapon', both of which have undergone some light revision since they were posted here. I always felt that the original 'Lucifer' could have continued, and that 'Man the weapon' needed a context, as it seemed to be 'spoken' by someone with a very large perspective. It occurred to me today that the two pieces might work as a single poem, as they have the same syllabic structure and a shared tone.

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    • #3
      Your instincts, have produced a MASTERPIECE!

      I agree, that the context provided by Lucifer, has further illuminated the harsh truths expressed in Man the weapon.

      Worth a MULTITUDE of reads, both for the elucidation of the subject matter, and the artistry of the composition.

      Each line just singes.

      An infernal marriage of the 2 works!

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      • grant hayes
        grant hayes commented
        Editing a comment
        It heartens me that you think the marriage works, Dwayne. I've done that with pieces before, and it usually improves them, or. at least, reveals more clearly what can be discarded. I added punctuation to the 'Man the weapon' section, in the interests of continuity and improved accessibility. Thank you for your very encouraging compliments!

    • #4
      The combination of the two makes for a wonderful poem. They were indeed made for each other.

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      • grant hayes
        grant hayes commented
        Editing a comment
        Many thanks, Alexandra, for viewing them again, here as one. It's funny how it can take so long for such things to dawn.

    • #5
      Grant It just works. Wonderful

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      • grant hayes
        grant hayes commented
        Editing a comment
        I salute, the second; if it works for you, it works for me.

    • #6
      I remembered your poetry, to an extent, earlier this year, Lucifer. Cool that the two wound up working so well together. I knew I would enjoy this, but I went half-mad when you asked 'Who is like God?' -- very powerful. It's interesting what the amalgam means, how it fits, etc. Warranting further reads ...
      Thanks &
      Kudos!

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      • grant hayes
        grant hayes commented
        Editing a comment
        Half-mad, amenOra? That's interesting. Feel free to elucidate further.

        I originally intended the two five-line stanzas that follow 'Who is like God?' to be like two hands, two palms revealed as questions. It's also a reference to the archangel Michael, Satan's supposed nemesis. Michael means 'Who is like God?' This is a clue to the identity of the 'your' in the twelfth line of stanza 1. The whole thing can be read as Lucifer's side of a dialogue with Michael, in which the former shows he understands his own role as 'lightbringer' and the ambiguous, tragic nature of mankind.

    • #7
      its the descriptions that get me, the weapon the siphon the demon , gland of visions.
      the burning uselessness of our infinite chemistry.

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      • grant hayes
        grant hayes commented
        Editing a comment
        "the burning uselessness of our infinite chemistry" - you have a knack for hinting at poems in comments, lunar glide. There's a line to conjure with!

    • #8
      Grant have you sold your soul to the devil? How else do we explain your talent?

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