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knot of loves

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  • knot of loves


    My strand of life
    Began with chord cut
    Yet wound tight
    In ball of love

    Held and cherished
    Warmed and Nourished
    Protected from unravelling
    Whilst learning life knots

    A thread woven
    by three sisters
    Yet own choices
    Direct the pattern

    Tangled skein
    Bound and unbound
    Lifes length
    As long as string

    Tension varies
    Stretched to limits
    Others strands
    Share strain

    A strand joined
    Never alone
    Bound by friendship
    Knot of loves

  • #2
    Grant title borrowed from you. Not entirely satisfied as some of this felt forced instead of opening a concept and releasing it I found less than expected so stuffed it to fill the gap. I will review this when I have time.

    Comment


    • grant hayes
      grant hayes commented
      Editing a comment
      The central metaphor of the Fates and their thread is the kind one can conjure with, to be sure. This leans more to genial tell than arresting show; it's like a reconnaissance, scoping the terrain you might tread poetically. There is no implicit question in it; you have sorted it out and wrapped it up at the end. You inform us that there is 'tension', but relieve it straight away; it's a concise explanation that keeps us evenly on the surface of your waters.

      One way to stir things up is to pitch the reader into the heart of it, and let them work out the reference, eg.:

      Soaked in wine she spooled me, Clotho,
      stutter-eyed; her looming sister
      tangled half my twine ...

      Once you've distilled the source of tension into imagery, relieve it with your choices and loves, with their own images. Deux centimes.

  • #3
    I like the base of what you've got here Jon. May you find future weaving on it satisfying.

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    • #4
      I love personal stuff

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      • #5
        Weave on Jon. You have quite a weaved poem here.

        Comment


        • #6
          I don't have much to add, really, but I still will lol. I thought the second stanza stood out, might that be the one you filled up after putting it up?

          Just the shape's definitely different. Well, yes, telling vs showing leads the "fall flat upon the face" ... just like, I would want more depth, you know?

          I thought you may be describing them too... what they do.

          It's worth something, for sure. Depends what you can do with it...

          Thanks for sharing.

          Comment


          • Parkinsonspoet
            Parkinsonspoet commented
            Editing a comment
            I think my issue with this stems from the fact I have a basic idea but not decided what I was doing with it. Without intent there is no depth. So I need to decide poems purpose as a first step here
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