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  • Grievance



    Grievance


    already
    moments counted down
    tick by turned out tock
    mantle clock stands near
    to silence

    tried again
    this day; waking full
    fledged, Eden bound, by
    sound of cradled rock
    of ages

    spent on stones
    lodged like pendant gems
    in streams well rippled;
    sorrow stippled dead
    end drowning

    looking back
    or forward, grasping
    threads once woven, tied
    or cloven, nature
    wills its end



  • #2
    RLW you just go from strength to strength- such good use of language yet economical nothing wasted here a joy to read

    Comment


    • RhymeLovingWriter
      RhymeLovingWriter commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you Jon - that is really wonderful praise. It seems to work better for me when I think with internal rhyme rather than end rhyme, although there is a place for that too. Again, thank you for the positive feedback.

  • #3
    Sometimes I think it would be great to live in an alternate reality. Applause Paula - you never cease to amaze.

    Comment


    • RhymeLovingWriter
      RhymeLovingWriter commented
      Editing a comment
      Some days my actual reality feels to be alternate. Thank you too, for the positive feedback Alex.

  • #4
    I was back in the pew. Church really pulses of seasons and we accept the change, back or forward. I enjoyed !!

    Comment


    • RhymeLovingWriter
      RhymeLovingWriter commented
      Editing a comment
      Thanks TS - at first I took this to mean it was too preachy - but the last part of your comment signals the OK. Thank you for engaging with it and stopping long enough to share your reaction.
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