Dog Days and 2 Dog Nights

[Johntee]

I woke up at 6am yesterday to my radio
playing the story (translated) Les Chien
et Les Loups by Irene Nemirovski.
which is taken from the French phrase
L'heure entre chien et loup, twilight,
thus the first line.


The hour of the wolf,

twilight, that makes

a dog's sureties in itself,

unsure, as the older, wilder,

thief breaks in to steal the soul

back again, answering howl

on howl from far off height,

baying the moon to take the night

and crisp it in a frost of stars

and lay the light of a million years

on echo-pricked, bristle furred ears.

[grant hayes]

What a beautiful poem.

[Muttado1sb]

This is lovely, Johntee, and it is better every time I read it! It has a very visceral feeling.

[Muttado1sb]

On an unrelated note, the poem has a musicality to it so that something about the rhythm, especially two the last lines, put the song ''We Work the Black Seam'' by Sting into my head.

[Johntee]

Mutado you've also outpaced me on Sting knowledge.

[mooneyblack]

I love this Johntee - one of your best yet. Thank you.

[RhymeLovingWriter]

Concur wholeheartedly. Artistry on display.

[Johntee]

I came into the library today ready to alter the last line. My yardstick with words and lines is "Do they feel right, in the mouth?" The last line I played with
quite a while shuffling "echo-pricked, bristle furred" trying for something that had a satisfying mouth-feel.Of course the more repitition words get, the more senseless to the mind do they become. At one time I had "and" between them but that failed my "only use a word once" test since it started the previous line. What failed the mouth test as I posted it was the disparity of syllables between the last two lines. Before reading the comments I was going for

to lay the light of a million years

on bristled fur and echo-pricked ears.
which alters the meaning of the fur to an all-body experience. Having read all your enjoyments perhaps I should leave well-enough alone.

[Suz-zen]

aaaaah yes,

and lay the light of a million years

on echo-pricked, bristle furred ears.

these lines could be read aloud a dozen times and I would not tire hearing them! Thank you Johntee

[Johntee]

and yet I had the temerity to think of altering them