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Unholy Knight

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  • Unholy Knight

    His armour, rusted from the rain,

    Shields him from a martyr's bane.

    His sword sheathed by his side;

    When it's drawn, all should run and hide.


    The blood-red rust from his iron helm,

    Stains the bereft, blood-soaked ground.

    His breath is poison, but he speaks no words.

    He has no need to be heard.


    He rides a shadowed mare,

    Who fixes the shadows with an igniting stare.

    And no footprints are left behind.

    This knight's a ghost to all unkind.


    HE WEARS A HALO OF THORNS.

    HIS BLACK MALICE CLOAKS HIS DEVIL HORNS.

    HIS EYES HAVE BEEN REPLACED WITH BURNING FLAMES.

    HIS PAST’S AGLOW WITH LOST MEMORIES AND EMPTY FRAMES.


    Unholy knight, soulless knight,

    Hold and embrace the dying light.

    Let the stars and the moon be your guide.

    Don't be afraid; we all know you tried.


    SO TRY AGAIN, SINCE THIS IS WHAT YOU’VE BECOME!

  • #2
    Fierce imagery builds to crescendo in your fourth stanza - then backs off only slightly until the final line. Although I must say, the final line has me wondering - of what would such fearsome individual be afraid? Also, if I'm late to saying so, welcome to the zone!

    Comment


    • Restless Storm
      Restless Storm commented
      Editing a comment
      Fearsome but not fearless. He is afraid of what he has become. Thanks, by the way.
      Last edited by Restless Storm; 07-16-2017, 08:01 AM.

  • #3
    More strong lyrics, Restless Storm! The end sounds like a shout to go try for redemption. I'm guessing since still being means there is a chance. Two questions jumped out at me, though: 1. If he is a ghost, how is his helmet rust staining the ground? Is it because the armor is real worn by a ghostly shade, or is it because this knight just became the ghost and the armor is from his fallen body? 2. Does the line ''This knight's a ghost to all unkind'' mean the knight only appears to those who are unkind and not to those who are kind, or that the unkind can't see him but the kind can?

    Comment


    • Restless Storm
      Restless Storm commented
      Editing a comment
      Thanks! Yes redemption is a theme throughout the concept album from which it is from. The knight is not literally a ghost, just a ghost of the person he once was, a ghost within his armour. It is also suggesting that he is no longer "human" in which he lost his humanity and is trying to find it again. As for your second question, the unkind can't see him because they are like him and therefore pay no attention to him. The kind can see him because he is the opposite of them; the unkind have lost their humanity but the kind still possess theirs and ergo the only ones who can see the knight for what he is and can be.

  • #4
    Welcome to the zone! I really liked this piece! Very well written/stated especially how the narrator expressed knight's dark side....(4th stanza) shielded from others by the "mare". Does the narrator offered forgiveness at the end or just an understanding of what the knight had become?

    Comment


    • RhymeLovingWriter
      RhymeLovingWriter commented
      Editing a comment
      Really nice to see your name in the queue too, imrogue.

    • Restless Storm
      Restless Storm commented
      Editing a comment
      Thanks! The narrator is saying never give up trying to change for the better.
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