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all me

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  • all me

    first, i drew my line, somehow it was supposed to go the other way, but i reeled it in, with the worm, skewered, fat, but no blood; weird. there was the trees in the skies and i watched the mouth suck at the sides. they tried to get away
    so did i.
    through out all that, since they didn't take, i grew mad. started beating up water; played rough with fire. it didn't work, either. i was drunk and sweaty, the night wouldn't end, but at least in my dreams my bad dreams ...
    atleast i can know you. i came complaining; it can seem as if everything one writes is a plaint; writers breed writers, and we end up just moving our hands. we still are effected, we just move more.
    chap, what is that on your back?--
    i had this place cased, and the kids, they all knew: Don't fuck with Him. 'Specially when he drunk, and sweatin'.
    What is it that we try to get away from it to then get closer to it, a sort of dance--
    She came again. Or was it, to her, that I came again?-- Either way I was imagining murder, and mayhem.
    My mitzvah, don't eat dead animals. remember the totem. remember people have their own lives. remember why Jesus Christ gave up his own, and that cannot be taken back, nor even copied.
    remember when we used to...
    I remember sneaking in your back door, the only blonde I slept with. You were on top of me and you had the nicest breasts-- you were a dancer. You still dance, I am sure. I came inside you, because we were teenagers, and when you asked me after coming back from the bathroom, I lied, and said it was pre-come.
    that is a lot of pre-come, and a long-running joke with myself: I finally did it!
    She has one of my books, still; although I am sure it's gone. She lives in a different state. I notice there are others like her. But she's the only Blonde.
    I remember nasty things, bad things I don't want to ruin the mood.
    What mood?-- My stomach hurts.
    Well, you told me ....
    Fine, we kissed.
    Is that enough?-- is that what you were looking for?
    Now no one can find us,
    nothing can hurt us,
    and we don't get
    bored anymore.

    What would it take to truly satisfy me? I woke up from a bad dream. I was under supervision, and there were black people, again. I am supposed to say that I think I'm going to become more conscious in my dreams, by talking with the phantasm. I woke up, and cried, as the birds sang. 4:04. am.

    It's always about the girl; from girl to woman. to poem to prose.
    She was a blank space. She gave me the ammo.

    I wanted kids and to show myself and my wife that I could raise them both. But as Manson said, "Lazarus ain't got no dirt on me."

    These days, the logical operators are so screwed. I just came in here to share.

    ----

    I remember hating people, and their types. Old ladies wearing visors. Years of walking next to someone at 6 flags.
    I remember red striped popcorn, and my Mother's Diet Coke-- how I would take a sip and there'd be ashes and cigarette butts in them. This was at our old house. The one before the last one we lived in.

    I was actually happy to lose my virginity as a kid.
    My family is fucked up.
    They expect me to care anymore. Hush-hush.
    I know many who hide
    As well as I do.
    But I'm not
    Hiding from you.

    To me this is my life, so i can present it any way I like;
    Yet, it doesn't feel as if it's the same
    as the others; because, logic would tell you, that
    if it were, we could be more together.

    and it's always the same droning on, like this,
    like clock-work:

    the newspaper, and black coffee, and mother and her curling iron.
    I got lost somewhere between his patois
    and the melange of my heart was just icing on the cake, really;
    he ate the sugar, and I kept my word.
    neither of us really HAD any feelings, so it didn't matter anyway.

    I just hope he gets
    what he wants,
    and that she burns
    slower, this time.

    it's starting over, again.
    it's starting over, again.
    Last edited by amenOra; 05-31-2017, 04:05 AM.
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