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friend or foe

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  • friend or foe

    From a year ago: A style I had began with the poem "Sera's Word"---

    truth: in the future, as it has always been,
    some unforeseen event
    could turn this all to nothingness. and all
    my cloying little words
    to daylight's extinguishment and renewal
    be reversed, hitched to
    the God I know, who may have had enough
    of my particular crime,--
    but only because love
    remembers me, and mine, and the lost world
    that died before my lip,
    gives time, like caterpillars molting until they
    also lose their name,
    the assumption being that what we are is
    not enough to please
    God -- He who does not live to be pleased,
    nor to please. disease
    is the weight of He who touches gently
    a being like clay, who
    stands to be made, before the colored sky
    ascending: a bird or a
    butterfly; the eyes of creation made -- was it
    the third day? o but if
    I'm wrong, then still the chance to learn is there,
    moving me like a river
    snakes its way to divide the earth ... now night
    like we could never
    have guessed; death something like a wish,
    which, as it rises
    to the living, in sounded syllables, breaks
    to cover the flesh,
    with bones that keep, and muscle memory,
    and ears that hear
    the volubility -- a dying melody. so talk,
    friend, and try to
    change my mind. I will let God go, so that
    by chance of striven
    weight, the load to lift shall not be too
    great ... and all light
    you seize, just dross to me, like lies ...
    people are more
    comfortable in their spider holes ...
    it buys them time
    to redress the fact, so much like a
    wound, and alter this:
    your sharing in the boon, if innocent
    eyes should see it,
    sun lighting upon the golden sea,
    the mountains grasp
    dark, the treasure chest rusting
    in time, and you
    hear it change: the afterlife, a being
    indomitable,
    a foe that never dies.

  • #2
    This one really speaks to me: sound, concept(s), and arc. Salutes.

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    • #3
      I really liked this one amenOra, the reflection, perspective and statements/questions. It just got to me especially since my son is posing very difficult questions to me about my belief in God. Quite how he and I feel.

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      • #4
        A barrage of staccato musicality.
        introspective and descriptive, form, style and diction, in punchy harmony.

        A unique, poetic articulation of query.

        Outstanding.

        I really enjoyed this.

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        • #5
          hooked by the first line. i agree with all of the praise for this one!

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          • #6
            thanks for the insights, I love this style, and wrote about maybe 3 poems, all last year, all in a turning point, where I find myself ... still turning. It is the shakti-- that is my excuse.

            She made me.

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