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  • Birthday

    What is it
    Two numbers
    One higher
    Than last time
    Another
    Year survived
    Another
    Chance to change
    What is it
    Just gladness
    A reason
    For a laugh
    To forget
    Weary days
    What is it

    Celebration


    This is my first attempt at writing without rhyme... (today is my 18th birthday, btw )
    Last edited by N. Y. Sonnet; 05-28-2017, 06:59 AM.

  • #2
    This is beautiful and reads as if it is written with very confident rhyme all throughout! I had to re-read it to actually notice that there are no strict end of the line rhymes, and yet I still felt subtle rhyming coming throughout the piece:

    Numbers-Gladness-Days
    Higher-Another

    In addition to the repeated line holding the piece together. And somehow I feel that the last line is rhyming with everything written above it!

    Comment


    • N. Y. Sonnet
      N. Y. Sonnet commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you so much, AnatoliyS! I appreciate your kind comments! I think the reason why it sounds like it rhymes, is because I used a syllable count - 3 per line, except for the last line (celebration).

  • #3
    Repetition is an effective refrain.

    Enjoyed this honest write.

    Comment


    • N. Y. Sonnet
      N. Y. Sonnet commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you! I have learnt so much from your poetry, and some of it I tried to use in writing this piece. So thank you for your inspirational poems!
      Last edited by N. Y. Sonnet; 05-28-2017, 09:23 AM.

  • #4
    Happy Birthday to you. Your future in poetry is bright, I am more convinced with each one you post.

    Comment


    • N. Y. Sonnet
      N. Y. Sonnet commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you!! Your words are very encouraging!

  • #5
    Ah, but it does rhyme, N Y Sonnet. As a fan of syllabic, short-line structure, I say congratulations. Eighteen is a good moment to step into new birth. Two enneads of years: the lesser and greater powers are complete. May this lap around the sun bring you into the waxing of your powers.

    Comment


    • N. Y. Sonnet
      N. Y. Sonnet commented
      Editing a comment
      You are right, I spoke in err! Thank you so much for your kind wishes! It is thanks to you and everyone one else here on the zone that I have been able to grow in my poetry. You opened my eyes to the wonders and the power of 'syllabic, short-line structure', and for that I cannot thank you enough!

  • #6
    N.Y. Sonnet, I can't believe you just turned 18! Your level of poetic precociousness is making Rimbaud stir in his grave. I think you are destined for international greatness down the road. I hope I am around to savour it.

    Comment


    • N. Y. Sonnet
      N. Y. Sonnet commented
      Editing a comment
      Awww, thank you so much!!! You are too kind... I really appreciate it!

  • #7
    Hello N.Y. Sonnet, Two numbers and three syllables to celebrate your birthday, and celebrated with a fine poem indeed. Glows like a birthday candle. I do hope you had a lovely day, chocolate cake and champagne! Happy birthday. Tony..

    Comment


    • N. Y. Sonnet
      N. Y. Sonnet commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you very much, Tony!! Yes, my day was lovely indeed. Best regards to you!

  • #8
    It is wonderful NYS! You are wonderful! Happy Belated Birthday!

    Comment


    • N. Y. Sonnet
      N. Y. Sonnet commented
      Editing a comment
      Thanks a lot, RLW!!!

  • #9
    Once again, thank you to everyone for your kind comments and wishes!!!

    Comment


    • #10
      I love it and I wish you a belated happy birthday.

      Comment


    • #11
      This is lovely like you. Congrats!!

      Comment


      • N. Y. Sonnet
        N. Y. Sonnet commented
        Editing a comment
        Thank you, Alexandra!

    • #12
      I'm new here, but I also join in congratulations !!! Happiness and health!
      sprint corporate

      Comment


      • grant hayes
        grant hayes commented
        Editing a comment
        How about you post a poem instead of just spraying your link around?

    • #13
      N Y Sonnett, sorry I'm late. While you were blowing out the candles on your birthday cake I was trying to blow out the smoke on my house fire. You could have fooled a lot of people into thinking you've been writing poetry much longer. You have that old soul aura about you. Anyway, happy birthday and happy writing!

      Comment


      • N. Y. Sonnet
        N. Y. Sonnet commented
        Editing a comment
        I thank you for your lovely comment! Again, my prayers are with you and your family. I trust that you and yours are doing as well as possible, under the circumstances.

        Yes, I suppose you're right about me being an 'old soul' -- there are times when I wonder if I have been born into the wrong era! Anyway, thank you very much for the kind compliments.
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