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FRUSTRATIONS OF ART, PUBERTY AND BAD DREAMS
The final snow of the season but not the last fire
Wooden beings, gathered limbs crack open
Against the cold they conspire
Awaiting the gifted child from the womb
Let the energy of our heat the incubator consume
Concentration of camps are now in the mind
Lemko girl on her knees, sings, sublime
Steep hills with houses surround the Warhol museum
Trolleys broke down in the floods
Deep and swelling waters breaching the dam
It was then I knew the ocean was out there, somewhere
So I stretched my canvas to brush
The base of the painting I neglected to prepare
All the colors but the blues ran into the black
Frustrations of my creations and what the flesh can lack
I let myself drown to float away from the flack
Bad dreams carried me viciously into the pack
Unprovoked confrontations in the ghetto
Paths leading to the mountain meadow where the Aspen daisies grow
We ran to the edge of the summer’s climax
A Grizzly caught sent of a terrified girl’s first menstrual flow
The result, a mortal attack
We had to turn back
Proceeding onward down to a white clover field
To fresh girls that lie laughing, having had their piercings healed
Lick the Honeybees stingers for the sweetness you were denied to try
Mischievous little boy birds, wings of curiosity took to the sky
I was to fat to fly
So I stayed home to capitulate
When they fell I filled a page but ignored their cries
I was writing a dead hung man’s journal, the only one that survived
The others were burned like you, smoke watering the eyes
Ugly adolescence, doomed and deprived
Pubescent boys and girls, obese callousness, derived
Entries in their diaries
“People share secrets on purpose
All my lovers have been contrived
Only the dogs sleep with me tonight
Alone again in my cold bed the warm hand has arrived”
You and a friend, if there is one
Read and write and sketch about everything under the sun
After puberty’s pillows have suffocated the sobbing
Roll away from the tears attend to the throbbing
We are alike
Laboring on, allowing ourselves to fall in and out of sleep
Subconscious cartoons edited into schizophrenia
Drifting off, counting disingenuous sheep
Continuous smoldering ashen the faces of archaic cave babies
Corners of imagination, expected pleasures, pushed into constricting circles
Shoved against the standing timbers leaves a stain
Accused, confused, surrounded with shame
We are never full or fulfilled
But once delivered to the mongers, endlessly drilled
Rugged patina pitted lock
Silhouettes of faces, never mention your name
Wet residue of your lips on a window expecting a rock
Is it the bedroom door’s will, never entertain the knock?
Virgins in white clothing mocked, with uncomfortable skinless scars
Arousal confined, no fumbling loss, dark driveway cars
Bedtime stories under canopy veil, glow in the dark crayon stars
Be it the same with hell and hearts, you and me
Passionate beasts ravage one another to have their bodies set free
Revealing their art and souls
So many never make it beyond the thresholds
Where being pardoned of chores and scorn
Forbidden children remain tethered to kites painted with suns
Carried away in tatters by the storm
Lame highways will never let us walk correctly with the ghost
Crawling to petition instead
We will never see that home or its gracious host
Faceless witnesses come back
Watch the remnants of a warm kiss evaporate from the glass
As it always happens for the born and reborn
The first and last night will inevitably pass
At dawn away from each other we turn
Outside to an unforgiving world
To often we yearn
For the final snow of the season
Not understanding what has been given away
Abandoning the years we saved ourselves, for no reason
Scribbling down all of your day’s labor, later to savor
Blank pages, now stories of favor
Lessons be taught
About art, puberty, bad dreams, all we discern
Lessons we never can learn
The frustrations that come from within us
And the lasting fires that burn
RDS
THE SECOND
The final snow of the season but not the last fire
Wooden beings, gathered limbs crack open
Against the cold they conspire
Awaiting the gifted child from the womb
Let the energy of our heat the incubator consume
Concentration of camps are now in the mind
Lemko girl on her knees, sings, sublime
Steep hills with houses surround the Warhol museum
Trolleys broke down in the floods
Deep and swelling waters breaching the dam
It was then I knew the ocean was out there, somewhere
So I stretched my canvas to brush
The base of the painting I neglected to prepare
All the colors but the blues ran into the black
Frustrations of my creations and what the flesh can lack
I let myself drown to float away from the flack
Bad dreams carried me viciously into the pack
Unprovoked confrontations in the ghetto
Paths leading to the mountain meadow where the Aspen daisies grow
We ran to the edge of the summer’s climax
A Grizzly caught sent of a terrified girl’s first menstrual flow
The result, a mortal attack
We had to turn back
Proceeding onward down to a white clover field
To fresh girls that lie laughing, having had their piercings healed
Lick the Honeybees stingers for the sweetness you were denied to try
Mischievous little boy birds, wings of curiosity took to the sky
I was to fat to fly
So I stayed home to capitulate
When they fell I filled a page but ignored their cries
I was writing a dead hung man’s journal, the only one that survived
The others were burned like you, smoke watering the eyes
Ugly adolescence, doomed and deprived
Pubescent boys and girls, obese callousness, derived
Entries in their diaries
“People share secrets on purpose
All my lovers have been contrived
Only the dogs sleep with me tonight
Alone again in my cold bed the warm hand has arrived”
You and a friend, if there is one
Read and write and sketch about everything under the sun
After puberty’s pillows have suffocated the sobbing
Roll away from the tears attend to the throbbing
We are alike
Laboring on, allowing ourselves to fall in and out of sleep
Subconscious cartoons edited into schizophrenia
Drifting off, counting disingenuous sheep
Continuous smoldering ashen the faces of archaic cave babies
Corners of imagination, expected pleasures, pushed into constricting circles
Shoved against the standing timbers leaves a stain
Accused, confused, surrounded with shame
We are never full or fulfilled
But once delivered to the mongers, endlessly drilled
Rugged patina pitted lock
Silhouettes of faces, never mention your name
Wet residue of your lips on a window expecting a rock
Is it the bedroom door’s will, never entertain the knock?
Virgins in white clothing mocked, with uncomfortable skinless scars
Arousal confined, no fumbling loss, dark driveway cars
Bedtime stories under canopy veil, glow in the dark crayon stars
Be it the same with hell and hearts, you and me
Passionate beasts ravage one another to have their bodies set free
Revealing their art and souls
So many never make it beyond the thresholds
Where being pardoned of chores and scorn
Forbidden children remain tethered to kites painted with suns
Carried away in tatters by the storm
Lame highways will never let us walk correctly with the ghost
Crawling to petition instead
We will never see that home or its gracious host
Faceless witnesses come back
Watch the remnants of a warm kiss evaporate from the glass
As it always happens for the born and reborn
The first and last night will inevitably pass
At dawn away from each other we turn
Outside to an unforgiving world
To often we yearn
For the final snow of the season
Not understanding what has been given away
Abandoning the years we saved ourselves, for no reason
Scribbling down all of your day’s labor, later to savor
Blank pages, now stories of favor
Lessons be taught
About art, puberty, bad dreams, all we discern
Lessons we never can learn
The frustrations that come from within us
And the lasting fires that burn
RDS
THE SECOND
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