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A moment on the beach

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  • A moment on the beach

    Moment on the Beach

    Letting beauty pass us by
    Could turn out to be a curse.
    And letting love back into our lives,
    Is a dangerous type of artwork.
    You are a blessing in human form.
    At least that’s how your warm lips feel
    Pressed against my own.
    But the water on the beach,
    and the way you wrapped me was cold.
    A moment came where our hearts
    Demanded we be bold,
    And we let our minds
    Make our decisions.

    This has been three months in the making.
    I don’t know what to say anymore
    When someone asks if we’re dating.
    I’m not complaining, or saying
    We should define ourselves with labels.
    But tell me, who else do you think is capable
    Of caring about you this deep?
    You say my words are too sweet,
    But deceit does not plague my mind.
    Yet it creeps in the depths
    Of both of our beings
    And confines our dreams.

    Now, I don’t mean that
    We are disloyal, or
    Anything of that nature.
    But we cannot call ourselves
    Free people and run away
    At the first sign of real danger.
    And there’s nothing wrong with you
    Leaving when things get too real.
    Just don’t lie to yourself
    About the way you feel.
    I may conceal certain aspects of my emotions,
    But I was ready to let it all go in that ocean.
    In the dark night,
    With the waves forming white foam,
    Carrying you in my arms,
    I felt your fear in my bones.
    But was left soft-spoken.
    You have been honest.
    And I do appreciate the full disclosure.
    But knowing you don’t trust yourself
    With me, is a promise to lose each other
    As we grow older,
    We will see other people,
    And let them interact with our surface.
    I am getting so tired of
    All these worthless people
    Trying to take parts of me
    To fill their empty portraits.

    Backstory done. Fill in:

    December 12.
    I was two months
    Out of a two-year relationship,
    And three days
    From my 22nd birthday.
    I was about to publish my first book,
    Ready to turn the page
    To a new chapter in my journey.
    I always thought you were beautiful.
    Kind of like a peaceful Sunday morning.
    But it was the way you came off
    As kind of evil that really turned me on.
    You agreed to a first date,
    “But nothing too serious.”
    “Great. What about Glenwood cemetery?
    I hear it’s real mysterious.”
    “Sure. I’ve always been curious
    about the dead. But not too late,
    or I’ll get scared.”

    Fast forward two and a half months,
    And we still haven’t been there.
    But we’ve stared at murals,
    And seen the moon continue its phases.
    We’ve grown closer in the dark places
    Where we thought fear erased loves graces.

    There has been two times where
    A moment has passed us by.
    Once on your birthday
    When you were with the other guy,
    Whoever he may be.
    But you still almost kissed me
    In front of everybody that day.
    It was probably only because
    Your mind was hazy.
    I don’t know how crazy I am about you.
    But my pride and virtue have
    Both been non-existent lately.
    I mean, and continue to stand behind
    Any statement I will ever make.
    I know what’s at stake,
    And if my words break me,
    It wouldn’t be the first time
    That life has rearranged me.

    Let’s go back to the beach
    And its cold weather.
    You said it’d be warm,
    But I know you just wanted to
    Get me in the water.
    Why would you
    Let me follow you out there
    If you were just going to let me go?
    I hate when actions
    Prove words contrary.
    I used to think you telling me
    You felt the same was revolutionary,
    Now it just fades into the air like smoke.

    I told you I felt distant on the way home,
    And I meant it.
    We used to be consistent with our passion,
    But you ran away from making it everlasting.
    That’ll be casting a shadow on us for a while.
    At the least, it’ll deepen our divide.
    I don’t want you to lose me
    But you can’t be afraid
    Of your heart actually being right.

    I am falling.
    Not in love,
    But in to the beauty that is calling.
    It is pulling me into
    A whole new life
    That is living without knowing.
    I’ve been having that thought lately;
    When it comes to us,
    Fuck all the labels,
    Let’s trust past all conventional growing.
    We are not normal people.
    And we shouldn’t fight
    What the light is showing us.

    Like I said in the beginning,
    Your wrap up is cold.
    You have a soul wrapped up in frozen gold.
    But I embrace it.
    Because let’s face it;
    It’s going to take time to thaw your heart out.
    And it’s going to take
    Even longer for me to make it out.
    So if in the future
    Something comes along and breaks our bond,
    Then there’s nothing wrong with
    Sharing memories and favorite songs.
    Just don’t go too far.
    I want to find you on another beach
    Under the breach of stars.
    And carry you in arms
    As the waves crash upon us
    And the moment opens our hearts.

    Xavier O. Mendoza

  • #2
    As always, you cut deep with verse.
    There is pain, hope and longing, all encapsulated on this page.

    In waves like the beach you graced with her.
    Love, when fully immersed, is a dive into perilous depths. I feel that here.

    Fine work.


    • #3
      I begin to understand why we've been missing you in the zone Xom (or do you prefer Xavier?)! This is a beautiful and bittersweet journey you're writing. I agree with Dwayne - you lay it all out there. Thank you for being willing to share it - the wrapped and internal rhyming is some of my favorite kind.


      • #4
        "life has rearranged me" if we would really take that in... thank you!


        • Suz-zen
          Suz-zen commented
          Editing a comment
          this line stopped me too!!1 LOVE it!!

      • #5
        I am falling not in love but to the beauty that is calling- just one of many lines that move me.-This is an emotional ride well done


        • #6
          Incredibly moving!!! i have been drawn in by this one Xom Are you really in your 20's? Remarkable ability to write what you feel in this way. Likelikelikelikelovelovelovelove this!!

          I don’t want you to lose me
          But you can’t be afraid
          Of your heart actually being right.


          • Xom
            Xom commented
            Editing a comment
            I actually just turned 22. And self-published my first book thanks so much for supporting my writing. I appreciate it so much

        • #7
          let us know!!! i will purchase


          • #8
            hey dude. good writing, I enjoyed sitting and reading it, getting to know you, and your persona. thanks for sharing. the rhythm so crisp did pull me in, and I enjoyed the jarringness of it all... conceptual hell pitted against itself, rough around the edges? a good idea.