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Reaching Out

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  • Reaching Out

    Reaching Out

    Trying to make headway
    Picking her way over the uneven ground
    Carefully watching each step
    Frightened of falling
    Not thinking of the journey ahead
    Independent, strong; yet, weakened
    By the terrain and prevailing wind

    Not initially seeing the hand
    Outstretched before her
    Offering help, support
    Could she take it or continue alone?
    She reached out;
    In that act alone she grew stronger
    Knowing she would be safe

    First attempt at writing out of rhyme. Totally lost on the format of this would appreciate advice/feedback

  • #2
    I like it quite a bit. I think it flows very nicely. I honestly did not notice that it is "out of rhyme" until I read you saying so.
    Last edited by AnatoliyS; 03-21-2017, 11:39 AM.

    Comment


    • mooneyblack
      mooneyblack commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you, AnatoliyS I appreciate the feedback. A bit out of my comfort zone but the words just came and I went with it.

  • #3
    I agree - this has such a beautiful flow to it.

    Comment


    • mooneyblack
      mooneyblack commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you, AlexandratheLate. It was rattling about in my head for a few days so I went with the flow. Not my usual thing but perhaps things are changing.

  • #4
    mooneyblack, you handled this write with ease and expertise. Almost as if the poem was about your new writing endeavor.

    Comment


    • mooneyblack
      mooneyblack commented
      Editing a comment
      Thanks so much Bobby Del Boy. I'll not be so afraid to try something different next time.

  • #5
    sometimes free verse is the only way to express yourself! It read natural to me, so no need to worry 😀

    Comment


    • mooneyblack
      mooneyblack commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you for taking the time to read and feedback; very much appreciated.

  • #6
    I really liked this mooneyblack Carefully watching each step
    Frightened of falling The carefully and falling work well together! Keep going!! this format is holding out its hand to you!!

    Comment


    • mooneyblack
      mooneyblack commented
      Editing a comment
      Thanks for the read Suz-zen, the feedback and advice. Great encouragement to try again. Thank you.

  • #7
    Hello mooneyblack, 'She reached out', says it all, as you have done with this splendid poem. I think it's a wonderful poem. Bit of a Seamus Heaney in you. Carry on the way you're going, I'm looking forward to your next one. Well done indeed. Regards, Tony.

    Comment


    • mooneyblack
      mooneyblack commented
      Editing a comment
      Tony, thanks so much for reading and for the feedback. If I could evolve to be anywhere near the quality of Seamus Heaney's work I would be delighted but at least I can say we're from the same country. Thanks again Tony. Regards Karen
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