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Where theres life

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  • Where theres life

    Softly spoken shards
    Whispers on the winds
    Vile vexed voices
    Tell truths troubles

    Death knows
    Death sows
    Death grows

    Hailing Hades Hopes
    Travel is terminal
    Delving in decay
    Evicting evolution

    Death nears
    Death here
    Death clear

    Death defeats
    Yet without life
    Death dies
    Olivion rise

    Life endures
    Life ensures
    Life explores

  • #2
    I like how you've entwined the progress - and then supersession - of death between the four-line stanzas. There's a kind of incantatory power to this. Well-conjured, Parkinsonspoet!

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    • #3
      Interesting form, Parkinsonspoet, making the poem seem like a supernatural chant!

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      • #4
        grant hayes Muttado1sb Thank you for the comments. I like to get to grips with others poems by reading them aloud. So for this one the form was chosen to read easily and be powerful to listen to hence its chant like nature. That you both picked up onthis suggests I have had a measure of success.

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        • #5
          nice structure, yes, stark like death, kudos!!

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          • #6
            A masterful write, Parkinsonspoet! I agree with Grant-- very well conjured indeed!

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          • #7
            I like the way this flowed and meandered PP -- death and life. Very well done.

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            • #8
              very
              welcome comments, good to see you again AlexandratheLate you have been missed

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              • #9
                You've fully succeeded i think. You're in danger of becoming a wizard if you keep at this style.
                Last edited by lunar glide; 03-18-2017, 01:05 PM.

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                • Parkinsonspoet
                  Parkinsonspoet commented
                  Editing a comment
                  thank you lg high praise indeed

              • #10
                I find myself being incapable writing as succinctly as you did here, Jon. Few words deliver the message with greater power, very nicely done! I learn a lot from your poems.

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                • Parkinsonspoet
                  Parkinsonspoet commented
                  Editing a comment
                  Thank you. Ifound trying haiku helped me use words sparingly in other poems even though i never mastered the haiku

              • #11
                I must echo Mr. Hayes.

                The style suits the content.

                Eloquent and melodic.

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