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  • All pink

    as shameless as veils
    as raw as miles of the fall
    broken as hopes in the wing
    and as home as clay
    poor as the corner's light
    constant as curses
    memorable as murders
    we’re all pink on the inside
    Last edited by grant hayes; 03-17-2017, 04:21 AM.

  • #2
    The day before St Paddy's day? Tony Grannell may differ. Nice Grant. Tomorrow then, we're all green! Hope I'm not treading to heavy.

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    • grant hayes
      grant hayes commented
      Editing a comment
      Half of my DNA is Irish, Bobby (according to a recent test), so I will be half green. But which half?

  • #3
    Lively as lunatics, grant!
    Last edited by Muttado1sb; 03-16-2017, 06:20 PM.

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    • #4
      And as lurid as liverflukes, Muttado.

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      • #5
        grant hayes but of Course Mr. Hayes

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        • #6
          happy day~!~!~

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          • #7
            The surgeon operates once more!
            This is simply, the truth pared down to the core!
            The sooner we recognize this, the better!

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            • grant hayes
              grant hayes commented
              Editing a comment
              I am glad you found this one truth-full, Dwayne. I feel an affection for this piece; I don't usually feel that way about poems I make.

          • #8
            let me ask you something Grant. do you think you practice more on the technique part, or speed, or accuracyof the word i.e. do you have an idea of how manyedits, rewrites, and wpm? lol. but seriously.

            when i began i was meticulous, until my friend locanther told me about a carefully chosen word poem, that "i did not quite achieve ecstasy."

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            • grant hayes
              grant hayes commented
              Editing a comment
              I am not so methodical that I can claim any of those aspects of composition as principal, amenOra. In this case, as in numerous others, a phrase comes to me, and I try to build a home of words for it. Sometimes the home is built quickly, other times more laboriously. There is a certain rhythm and sonority I aim for; the realizations of that aim range from trivial to substantial.

              I like that name 'locanther'. I would like to be able to say 'my friend locanther'; it seems agreeably uncanny.

          • #9
            I wish this poem could accompany the Bodies Exhibition that travels through various cities. It appeals to me in a clayish way

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            • grant hayes
              grant hayes commented
              Editing a comment
              I looked up this exhibition, and it looks like something I would enjoy very much. If my poem were somehow present at a display like that, I'd feel like I had spoken aloud.

          • #10
            I like this and to me it reads very naturally which suggests perhaps a more instinctive rather than meticulous approach but I may be completely wrong. amenOra is Locanther a poet, I think I saw that name on another site. Am wondering if it was your friend

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            • grant hayes
              grant hayes commented
              Editing a comment
              Parkinsonspoet, I had been compiling a list of similes, in as__as__ style, hoping that one of them might catalyse further development into a poem; concurrently, I was trying to think of a context for the line 'we're all pink on the inside'. The raw materials were all in front of me, and a flicker of insight helped me see which pieces fitted together. So yes, this was perhaps a less 'controlled' process than is typical.

          • #11
            Down to the basics Grant. This is yet another great poem.

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            • grant hayes
              grant hayes commented
              Editing a comment
              Thank you, Alexandra! I value highly your good regard for my poems.

          • #12
            I have read and reread this, almost like a mantra, wondering (being in a state of wonder) at how you distill with your word choices. What I hear each time is that we have much more in common than we hold as differences. I like that message very much.

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            • #13
              I like it that this has a mantra-like quality to you, Rhymist. And, yes, that message you identify is conveyed in the lines, all of them interpreted by the last line. That one sets itself apart from the rhythm of the seven preceding similes, to draw attention to their commonality - they are facets of one truth. They are also a kind of descent. They are not sweet, these similes, yet I do not feel that this is a dark poem. The universality and inclusion of the last line implies a kind of hope, I think. The realisation of our common flawed humanity, as your own tradition knows so well, is the touchstone of wisdom.

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              • #14
                Hello grant, I don't blame you for feeling affection for this piece. There are poems, though rare, when you let go, they refuse to leave, like a friend when needed, a wise companion, as it were. Such a friendship would only better a fellow. The final line brought the whole poem together, the blushed innards of all races exposed in the same hue the art of life. A poet could not come across a better poem. Regards, Tony.

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                • grant hayes
                  grant hayes commented
                  Editing a comment
                  'The blushed innards' - now there's a phrase to conjure with! You'd better use it yourself, Tony, or I may steal it
                  Many thanks for your compliments and for sharing your thoughts on the companionable potential of poems - you know that whereof you speak, I trow.

              • #15
                LOVE! grant hayes
                Similes have always been abrasive to me for some reason. ( I use them, but prefer not to!) Here you have broken that spell and cast a net, no 'veil of shame' over my former feel!! Wonderful!! You took me to an AHA!

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                • grant hayes
                  grant hayes commented
                  Editing a comment
                  I know what you mean about similes, Suz-zen, but I have learned to love them. A well-deployed one can be most efficacious, as you demonstrate in your recent share 'rusted gate'.

                • Suz-zen
                  Suz-zen commented
                  Editing a comment
                  Hi grant hayes. I was chuckling at this as I had just written that poem and had struggled with that line!
                  'Constant as curses' ... most efficacious!!

                  All pink is better third and fourth time over!!
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