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Daybreak

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  • Daybreak

    Day broke
    But it wasn’t my fault
    I was asleep
    My bed and I
    formed a gestalt
    and made nary a peep

    Well, yes I snore
    But not so loud
    to cause such broken strife
    Just loud enough
    I'm not so proud
    to wake my sleeping wife

    But as I was enjoying
    my thirty-third wink
    (to which my wife can sadly attest)
    I couldn't have broken
    nor made even a chink
    that caused the day to be stressed

    So look somewhere else
    for this mystery
    since pointing at me isn't right
    And don't even think
    to try and blame me
    for shadows disappearing at night
    Last edited by Muttado1sb; 05-26-2017, 06:46 AM.

  • #2
    OutSTANDING, Muttado! Wit, well-wrought charm, and a great concept make this a delight to read. I like how you've managed to blend everyday diction with poetical devices. Zesta!

    Comment


    • Muttado1sb
      Muttado1sb commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you, grant! I'm happy to have delighted you in this small way.
      Last edited by Muttado1sb; 02-28-2017, 04:54 PM.

  • #3
    Very clever - and a joy to read!

    Comment


    • Muttado1sb
      Muttado1sb commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you, RLW! Joy is always a good side affect!

  • #4
    Youve found a wonderful voice with the style of this one! One of my favorites.

    Comment


    • Muttado1sb
      Muttado1sb commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you, lunar glide! I'm happy you like it so much! It was a silly write that turned out well.

  • #5
    Thhis excellent great idea with great execution

    Comment


    • Muttado1sb
      Muttado1sb commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you, Parkinsonspoet! It is nice of you to say so.
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