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    Hello Friends, The poem below was written by a 16 year old friend of my family. I was so impressed with the message and the presentation. With her permission i am sharing it with you. I told her i would share your responses with her as well. please let us know your thoughts. Thanks

    Trying to swim with people I hold dear
    Why am I always drowning
    and only sinking Deeper
    Trying to hold on
    for as long as I can
    but I end up letting go
    just so I can swim

  • #2
    A nice write with a powerful message-you have to let go and risk to swim. She is a talented young lady.
    Last edited by Parkinsonspoet; 02-25-2017, 08:57 PM.

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    • #3
      Nicely done! A very thoughtful and insightful poem about bravery and growing up - knowing you will have to let go of safety even though you feel you are drowning.

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      • #4
        I agree. She's done a great job of capturing the growing independence we all need - perhaps still surrounded by a support network - but striking out on our own.

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        • #5
          Great work. From just a few comments it's clear that she has chosen the right subject. There is something to develop here depending on her commitment to this piece. Especially considering her youth excellent!
          Last edited by lunar glide; 02-26-2017, 10:06 AM.

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          • #6
            She did a fantastic job! I took it as though she wants to hold on to the people close to her but is feeling dragged down by who this is and and seems surprised at that realization and now knows she has to reluctantly let go. Amazing description for being so young

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            • #7
              Thanks to each of you.
              This young lady is my granddaughter. She is a sophomore in high school and a freshmen in college. She is a music student.
              For me the beauty of this work is that she was not trying to be poetic. She wrote her heart without pretence and it became poetry. She is amazed at your responses

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              • #8
                Simplicity and no pretense - royal road to the convincing poem. She takes after her grandfather, methinks.

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                • rhymetime
                  rhymetime commented
                  Editing a comment
                  Perhaps the greatest compliment I have ever been given. "Simplicity and no pretense"

                  Thank you

              • #9
                Very honest thoughts for independence.... Nice weite! 😊

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