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The Tryst

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  • The Tryst

    Moon above
    We below
    You on me
    Just so

    (added Stanza -
    yes or no?)

    Egyptian
    Sheet shadows
    On a grey wall
    Soft ocean waves

    Last edited by Tanner; 02-20-2017, 06:49 PM.

  • #2
    Rewrite of last line.

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    • #3
      Breathtaking clarity.

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      • #4
        Lg, I wanted to write an exceptionally brief and bare poem, stripped of any artifice or embellishment, and let the imagery speak for itself. I am thinking of writing another stanza, but am ambivalent. I suspect you know well that feeling. Thanks for your conciseness, noticed and much appreciated.
        Last edited by Tanner; 02-20-2017, 06:44 PM.

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        • #5
          The second stanza is lovely! But I would leave the first one in peace.

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          • #6
            I agree. I needed to hear it from you.

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