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Winter Forlorn

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  • Winter Forlorn

    My attempt at a sonnet of sorts, let me know what you think.


    As a grey lit sky awakens the morn;
    A crow is heard crying out to the day.
    No color is alive, outside is forlorn.
    Bare trees, dead grass, no children at play.
    Glancing out of my window at winter's creation;
    Time seems to be at a frigid standstill.
    Snow is left brown, no cure for elation.
    No child sledding down the now muddy hill.

    I await the vitality of spring;
    Staring out at this lifeless stone dawn.
    Images of blooming colors will sing,
    when winter's existence has forgone.

    Will spring soon replace this cold ashen day,
    With a laughter of the sun on display?
    Last edited by LovesDaisies; 02-12-2017, 07:14 AM.

  • #2
    Excellent! I think its a perfect subject for a poem 😀 i wrote my own moon version of it last night haha. I like yours as i can not do sonnets well at all.

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    • #3
      Thank you! Did you post your poem? It is New for me writing a sonnet trying to get out of my comfort zone a little 😊

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      • #4
        Oh yes. I posted it. Snow Moon.

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        • #5
          LovesDaisies what I love about you is your inquiry is so humble and unassuming. You wrote a beautiful poem/ sonnett for all of us here at the Zone. A breath of fresh spring air wafts on this page.

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          • LovesDaisies
            LovesDaisies commented
            Editing a comment
            Thank you friend 😊

        • #6
          This is great, LovesDaisies ! I am a great lover (not an expert though) of this type of poetry and I think you did an amazing job. I like how you delivered your message in a very beautiful form and rhymes. Even though you have 2 lines with 9 syllables, I think the structure is still beautifully kept together – they just make the rhythm a little bit more interesting, unusual.

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          • #7
            AnatoliyS Thank you, It was my first time to try and write a sonnet. I too love the flow and rhyme of them. I appreciate your lovely comment!

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            • imrogue
              imrogue commented
              Editing a comment
              I love this! You did a great job writing your first sonnet! I still yet to try! 😊

          • #8
            Lovedaisies loved the images and how it read. I am afraid I am not very knowledgeable about the rules of sonnets so I can't offer any advice on that aspect

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            • LovesDaisies
              LovesDaisies commented
              Editing a comment
              Thank you for your comment! There are different types of sonnets I was going for the more English one. Basically 14 lines each with ten syllables, with an ababcdcd efef gg format, there are other things that go along but to much to write 😊.

          • #9
            Hello LovesDaisies, An extremely difficult form of poetry: the sonnet, this being your first attempt, I congratulate you. The essence, is obvious, your skill, evident, and your love of poetry, abundantly clear. I would urge you to continue, there is a sonneteer within you. Well done indeed. Regards, Tony.

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            • LovesDaisies
              LovesDaisies commented
              Editing a comment
              Why thank you, you are always so kind in your comments! I do love sonnets, I will keep writing them I think 😊

          • #10
            imrogue I see you tried and conquered, great job again 😉

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            • imrogue
              imrogue commented
              Editing a comment
              You inspired me to try! You did a wonderful job! 😊

          • #11
            It is the season for sonnets it seems. I must repair to my writer's desk and undertake one soon! Nicely done LovesDaisies! I feel that call to try new forms all the time!

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            • LovesDaisies
              LovesDaisies commented
              Editing a comment
              Thank you RLW 😉

          • #12
            You've done an excellent job of painting a picture with words, created a mood and actually said something.

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            • #13
              Thank you D.F.Russell for the comment and read

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