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Once Upon a Time

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  • Once Upon a Time

    You stopped smiling,
    pretending to care.
    you stopped talking.
    stopped being there.

    I stopped smiling,
    pretending to care.
    I stopped talking.
    stopped being there.

    Once we smiled.
    Once we cared.
    Once we talked.
    We were there.

    Once is better
    than never.
    Our once,
    our forever.

  • #2
    Hewn from strong timber, well wrought, and moving. I salute, rhymetime.

    Comment


    • rhymetime
      rhymetime commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you Sir Hayes. As always your participation in my poetic endeavors is deeply appreciated
      Last edited by rhymetime; 02-07-2017, 03:54 PM.

  • #3
    Hi I like this but itdoesn't quite work for me. The forever was contradicted by the stopping which was very much emphasized by the first two verses suggesting forever had come to the end

    Comment


    • rhymetime
      rhymetime commented
      Editing a comment
      May i tell you what you inspire in me?

    • Parkinsonspoet
      Parkinsonspoet commented
      Editing a comment
      Yes of course

    • Parkinsonspoet
      Parkinsonspoet commented
      Editing a comment
      rhymetime I am curious about what you had to say?

  • #4
    Not all fairy tales have happy endings - or do they?

    Comment


    • rhymetime
      rhymetime commented
      Editing a comment
      I believe that when given the chance to experience a fairy tale, if only for a moment, it does end well. The sweet taste of memory lingers upon the tongue forever.

  • #5
    Pain and longing intertwined together, rhymetime. A beautiful piece.

    Comment


    • rhymetime
      rhymetime commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you so much
      Means alot

  • #6
    This could be used for relationship counselling - I love it. A stark reminder of what can happen that should be compulsory reading.

    Comment


    • rhymetime
      rhymetime commented
      Editing a comment
      What a lovely comment
      thank you

  • #7
    Hello rhymetime, Chiselled in marble the memory of love. Poetry at its best, one to remember, quote and recite. Excellent verse. Regards, Tony.

    Comment


    • rhymetime
      rhymetime commented
      Editing a comment
      You are most kind and i am grateful for it.

  • #8
    Your romantic touch is just beautiful.

    Comment


    • rhymetime
      rhymetime commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you so much for your kind thoughts
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