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The Old Jeweler

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  • The Old Jeweler

    On Stars -always plural-

    I'm thinking of decorating your room
    with precious stones
    that will diminish the night
    under their foliage
    and keep loving vigil
    over your soul.

    With blind trembling hands
    I will scatter them
    across your ceiling
    a thousand nailheads
    of calcified radiance
    to stave off the darkness.

    When you feel weak
    supernal peace will flow
    from their heart
    alongside the veins of fear
    to comfort you
    with gentle silence.

    May their twinkling
    extract something greater than light
    from your curious eyes
    in distant sprays of color
    in furious bits of hope.

    May they gift you
    tremulous waves of bliss
    freedom to link them
    -leisurely with your fingers-
    and may every name you give them
    ​​​​inscribe a secret faith
    upon your heart.
    Last edited by lunar glide; 02-13-2017, 10:47 AM.

  • #2
    beaut'

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    • lunar glide
      lunar glide commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you!

  • #3
    This has a feel somewhat different from your usual work, lunar glide. Evidently, the moon is absent, and the phrasing is relatively straightforward, the imagery directly descriptive. There is a lovely, lyrical sense to this piece; I can imagine it appealing to a very wide audience. As starlike as a gem!

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    • #4
      I truly appreciate the visit Grant. I am trying to unbewitch my writing from my typical tricks. Baby steps towards something better.

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      • #5
        Dang LG, a planetarium of poetry. There's no ceiling to your talent. This is one of my favorites. Magical!

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        • lunar glide
          lunar glide commented
          Editing a comment
          Thank you Bobby! I hope the stars watch over us 😊

        • imrogue
          imrogue commented
          Editing a comment
          my favorite too! 😊

      • #6
        Oh my, lunar glide - those last three lines are simply - magical! The entire piece is so tenderly versed with hopefulness. I salute!

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        • lunar glide
          lunar glide commented
          Editing a comment
          Thank you so much RLW!

      • #7
        This is such a sweet poem, LG! I immediately thought of my daughter and the stars she have in her bedroom ceiling! The stars were the luminous plastic stick on stars...not the kind you described in your poem but tthe thought of her having them just made me want to give her a copy of this poem. May I? 😊 Thanks for sharing! I just adore this to pieces! πŸ‘πŸΌπŸ‘πŸΌ

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        • lunar glide
          lunar glide commented
          Editing a comment
          Of course you may! Thats the best compliment i could hope for.

      • #8
        Hello lunar glide, Love and compassion crystallized in starlit poetry. Lovingly composed and illuminated with glittering grace. Just beautiful. Regards, Tony.

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        • lunar glide
          lunar glide commented
          Editing a comment
          I appreciate your visit and comments Tony. 😁

      • #9
        lunar glide, You know my profound admiration for your writings, but if I may kindly throw a spanner in the works, the last line "help you get through life" does not sit well with me. I think the flow and imagery of the poem sets the stage for something more unusual, open-ended and intriguing. Just a Tanner thought. I know about "typical tricks" - I often see them in my own writings that I have churned out without malice of forethought.

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        • lunar glide
          lunar glide commented
          Editing a comment
          From a technical perspective you are absolutely correct and im always honored by your visit. Its just that looking at the stars helps me get through life! So its exactly what i wanted to say even though it is unimpressive. I cant think of a way to express it without sounding contrived as always thank you!

        • lunar glide
          lunar glide commented
          Editing a comment
          I finally thought of a better ending. You were quite right. Thank you for coming down from the heights of your poems to pay attention to mine.

      • #10
        lunar glide, Yes you are right, I think the problem is that the statement is both Profound (if taken the right way) and "too easy" (if not taken the right way). At times, I think I authored the book on "contrived" images and phrases in poems - like I was Jack Horner and shoved my fingers in the pie and kept them there too long...both pleased and disgusted with myself.

        After so many years of writing, as you well know, you know when you are brilliant and when you are flying on "automatic pilot". Just a further note, I am finally working on a long poem, inspired by you called "The Road" in the interim, haikus are my rest stops...

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        • lunar glide
          lunar glide commented
          Editing a comment
          Your haikus are rest stops for us all.

      • #11
        lunar glide, your kind words are a eucalyptus bath for the soul!

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        • #12
          Your poem to me to the stars like diamonds in the sky! Very nice poem!

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          • lunar glide
            lunar glide commented
            Editing a comment
            Thank you so much LD!

        • #13
          "and may every name you give them
          ​​​​​​-you may give them every name-"

          Did you mean to leave these 2 lines together? For me, I like the first line is sufficient preceding the rest of the ending.
          I do love the first version (for the same reason you have mentioned to Tanner) the way it was which I sent to my daughter and she loved it!
          I do love the second version just as well!
          again, thanks for sharing!!

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          • #14
            Oh your most welcome Imrogue. Im very honored that you shared it with her. πŸ˜€ I cant make up my mind so id better stop before i ruin it like an over folded piece of oregami.

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            • imrogue
              imrogue commented
              Editing a comment
              hahaha but i don't think you're capable of ruining any poem!

          • #15
            I see the hand of a god holding a fistful of stars, he/she is smiling as they are casts across the heavens Watching them scatter, he/she knows they will bring comfort, guidance and a constant reminder to the creation that they are being cared for.

            Lovely

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