Blue Eyes

[lunar glide]

A ray of golden light
is more precious than the sun itself
when it beams
from your blue eyes.

For even when drowsiness
smudges seas starless
and fogs the moon from windows
sleep slumbers powerlessly
against the bliss
of your glances.

In my eyes your eyes
flicker like compasses
beneficent torches
lighting the terraced steps
to my dreams
wherein another starry night opens
with truer links between us
and more infinite sky. (less elastic)

[Darthvader]

Captivating write. Sounds like an entrancing gaze, lunar glide. Be care full with those ones 😉😉

[lunar glide]

Yes...thank you for the wise observation ☺

[rhymetime]

Exquisite! I love the first verse. I love that this could apply to anyone- a lover, a child, a parent even someone glimpsed for only a moment

Thank you

[lunar glide]

I appreciate that Rhymetime! You found the essence of what i wanted to write.

[Bobby Del Boy]

Mine are blue but my wife or anyone else for that matter has never made me feel so good about them. Thanks LG!

[lunar glide]

Thank you Bobby! Mine are brown, not quite as special as blue. Im very glad you enjoyed it.

[amenOra]

perhaps some "articles" are unneeded, and with some shift of language presentation, this could polish to a better piece. thank you for sharing.

great ending, I enjoyed, no need to change that part, imho.

[lunar glide]

No perhaps, you are absolutely right. I am polishing as we write! Shouldnt have posted yet but I only had my phone no pen and paper at lunch and didnt want to lose it. Thank you ☺

[Suz-zen]

Hi lunar glide

... illuminating the terraced steps
towards my dreams
where those blue eyes open up
another starry night.

this is thew stuff that makes me want to read poetry day and night! and to dream.... dream.... dream..... thank you for sharing and not waiting!

[lunar glide]

Thank you Suzzen. Haha. I'm still editing. Let's hope that the house of words doesn't tumble.

[Suz-zen]

Never!
I sometimes say, "when in doubt leave it out." Oh no, wait... that is when I am not sure of too many accessories!! Never-mind!

[lunar glide]

I am almost ready to leave it alone 😑

[The second]

reflection of love in your eyes LG another internal post

[lunar glide]

Thank you TS. I appreciate your comments.

[Tony Grannell]

Hello lunar glide, As if peeping through the parting veils of grey, the blue eyes of love, spiritual and romantic in lovely poetry. Excellent indeed. Regards, Tony.

[RhymeLovingWriter]

Enchantingly phrased love poem LG. The luminaries of our skies compose the best playground for you - and a gift for the rest of us - through you.

[lunar glide]

Thank you RLW! Your comment is a gift. Yes sometimes I try to reinvent common poetic ideas.

[Tanner]

LG, Love these 2 lines:

For even when drowsiness
smudges my sea starless

I also agree some editing might be helpful. You might want to consider more action verbs,
than passives - ie. is, are

I am guilty of this as well as times of using too many prepositional phrases. I actually enjoy editing
and my compulsiveness to make poems better and better...

[lunar glide]

Me too. But after a while i lose the string. It becomes a word rubix puzzle that never lines up. I think i have to abandon this one.

[lunar glide]

Thank you Tanner!

[Parkinsonspoet]

Lunar I enjoyed it as you wrote it sometimes polishing is hard when done too soon. My reccommendation leave it for a while rediscover then polish

[lunar glide]

Very true! Thx PP 😊

[DWAYNE]

This is simply BEAUTIFUL!

Every stanza. Not a wasted word or phrase!

One of my favourites. Definitely!

[lunar glide]

I appreciate it Dwayne! ☺