Doors (Pantoum)

[RhymeLovingWriter]

Doors

Revolving on some well-oiled schemed-up plan
To there present sweet choice from temptress Fate
With thought that all who enter, beast or man,
Consider on return to prior state

To there present sweet choice from temptress Fate
As round some most circuitous of plod
Consider on return to prior state
Fine-tuned upon the harp of muses’ god

As round some most circuitous of plod
Would ever then arrive at passion’s spate
Fine-tuned upon the harp of muses’ god
Full confident that choice comes never late

Would ever then arrive at passion’s spate
With thought that all who enter, beast or man,
Full confident that choice comes never late
Revolving on some well-oiled schemed-up plan

[Gerryramona]

I like the way you described the consequences of our choices...

[RhymeLovingWriter]

Thank you Gerryramona. I had an image of a revolving door, although some choices don't allow do-overs.

[Muttado1sb]

Choice as a revolving door, do it or not. Interesting write and form, RLW!

[RhymeLovingWriter]

Thank you Muttado1sb. I saw the pantoum used on another site and decided to give it a try. For some reason when I try a sonnet or something like this, it sounds a bit too 'formal' or 'stilted' to my liking. I fall into using a more formalized arrangement of words/thoughts that don't flow as naturally as when I free verse or fun rhyme. Still, I find it a good exercise to learn from.

[Suz-zen]

Oh wow! RhymeLovingWriter so much of this to LOVE! I must come back to this

Have read it through and through three times and am letting it wash over me as i often do with the ones i really admire.

Let me say that this is echoing>>>>

Full confident that choice comes never late
Revolving on some well-oiled schemed-up plan

[RhymeLovingWriter]

It is true Suz-zen (and thank you for the generous comment and the like). As I said to Muttado1sb - on the whole I'd like it to flow more, but I figure that is because the form is relatively new to me. I too, like some lines/couplets better than others.