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Doors (Pantoum)

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  • Doors (Pantoum)

    Doors

    Revolving on some well-oiled schemed-up plan
    To there present sweet choice from temptress Fate
    With thought that all who enter, beast or man,
    Consider on return to prior state

    To there present sweet choice from temptress Fate
    As round some most circuitous of plod
    Consider on return to prior state
    Fine-tuned upon the harp of muses’ god

    As round some most circuitous of plod
    Would ever then arrive at passion’s spate
    Fine-tuned upon the harp of muses’ god
    Full confident that choice comes never late

    Would ever then arrive at passion’s spate
    With thought that all who enter, beast or man,
    Full confident that choice comes never late
    Revolving on some well-oiled schemed-up plan

  • #2
    I like the way you described the consequences of our choices...

    Comment


    • RhymeLovingWriter
      RhymeLovingWriter commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you Gerryramona. I had an image of a revolving door, although some choices don't allow do-overs.

  • #3
    Choice as a revolving door, do it or not. Interesting write and form, RLW!

    Comment


    • RhymeLovingWriter
      RhymeLovingWriter commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you Muttado1sb. I saw the pantoum used on another site and decided to give it a try. For some reason when I try a sonnet or something like this, it sounds a bit too 'formal' or 'stilted' to my liking. I fall into using a more formalized arrangement of words/thoughts that don't flow as naturally as when I free verse or fun rhyme. Still, I find it a good exercise to learn from.

  • #4
    Oh wow! RhymeLovingWriter so much of this to LOVE! I must come back to this

    Have read it through and through three times and am letting it wash over me as i often do with the ones i really admire.

    Let me say that this is echoing>>>>

    Full confident that choice comes never late
    Revolving on some well-oiled schemed-up plan

    Comment


    • RhymeLovingWriter
      RhymeLovingWriter commented
      Editing a comment
      It is true Suz-zen (and thank you for the generous comment and the like). As I said to Muttado1sb - on the whole I'd like it to flow more, but I figure that is because the form is relatively new to me. I too, like some lines/couplets better than others.
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