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If light in its waves

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  • If light in its waves

    Deleted
    Last edited by grant hayes; 12-25-2017, 09:03 PM.

  • #2
    This is magnificent, Grant, Sensei! This tribute to the sun in its stunning and brilliant assonance, odd number count, and time travel from then to now to next, the depths you've plumbed stuns this reader to numb! I could read this endlessly and enjoy it more each time! A triumphant tour de force! Bravo! Bravo! Bravo!

    Comment


    • grant hayes
      grant hayes commented
      Editing a comment
      'Plumbed' and 'numb' have led you to rum, methinks, MHenry! Thank you for your cheers. I bow gratefully.

  • #3
    this poem hit me in waves! it may be the finest work I've been privileged to read from you.

    Comment


    • grant hayes
      grant hayes commented
      Editing a comment
      Well, I guess that means I'm improving, lunar glide, which is good to know! I hope to maintain this trajectory. Thank you for the encouragement.

  • #4
    I have read this numerous times - love the feel of the words on my tongue and sound of the words in my ear. I attempt comprehension and seem bested, leaving my impatience on full display. 'All our then', 'Your Knotted Now' and 'To snuffed-out sun' read as progression of past (regret)/present(understanding)/future(ultimate meaning) to me. Yet, even if I'm way off from what was intended - the smooth movement and enigmatic magic of the piece draw like a magnetic force for repeat encounter. As you've so often suggested - a little struggling with a piece might be a good thing - so I will continue the quest. I add my Bravo to MHenry's - this is spectacular verse!

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    • #5
      Thank you for finding it worth the effort, Rhymist. By way of orientation, may I say that it concerns a lover reflecting on the beloved's potential infidelity.

      Comment


      • RhymeLovingWriter
        RhymeLovingWriter commented
        Editing a comment
        Well now, in that light the sadness comes through much more forcefully - and how could it not?

    • #6
      What heaven could then burn me cleansed of all our then- lines that resonate universally, Hayes words with Hayes flow and beauty but without the opacity- a precious gem of a poem

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      • #7
        Thank you, Parkinsonspoet. This one had been hanging around half finished for a while. It seemed a little more translucent than usual, so I decided to complete it.

        Comment


        • #8
          The most articulate, exquisite and accessible poem with beautifully wrought lines throughout; LG is right, I think this is the best poem of yours I have been privileged to set my eyes upon; we need to see more from THIS Grant Hayes.

          Comment


          • grant hayes
            grant hayes commented
            Editing a comment
            I can see why this one would appeal to you, Tanner. I suppose I am gradually getting in touch with a more lyrical approach, with a little space to breathe! Many thanks for the encouragement; I will try to keep this up (though as you well know, wells always threaten to run dry).

        • #9
          I do declare, grant hayes you have given me the vapors!! Get my smelling salts!!

          My pull to starfields
          Overborne with wiles...

          What pulse could pound my lust
          To snuffed-out sun?



          You should at least have the decency to have a fainting couch at the ready!

          Seriously..... a feast for the senses.... I am pondering a firstborn dream here and am in awe. One I wish i had written, And will be thankful to have read!!

          Comment


          • grant hayes
            grant hayes commented
            Editing a comment
            Wow! Inducing fainting fits sounds so Byronic! Hopefully, Erato will continue to smile upon me

          • Suz-zen
            Suz-zen commented
            Editing a comment
            With back of gloved hand o'er my forehead of course!' Byronic'! Better than Bionic! Which was what I read sans glasses at first! A fave of mine:

            And on that cheek, and o’er that brow,
            So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,
            The smiles that win, the tints that glow,
            But tell of days in goodness spent,
            A mind at peace with all below,
            A heart whose love is innocent!

        • #10
          If only I could have listened and learned and been taught like You. So much more I could write. Exceptional, Grand, A soft power if there is such a thing.

          Comment


          • grant hayes
            grant hayes commented
            Editing a comment
            'Soft power' - that I have attained that makes me happy, the second. That is a very gracious compliment; thank you!
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