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To Jump or What

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  • To Jump or What


    In memory of the many great poets and writers who have committed suicide;
    Poe, Sexton, Berryman, Hemingway, Plath, London, Vonnegut, Woolf, Jarrell, Yesenin, Crane, Trakl,
    Pavese, Mishima et al


    “I am going to put myself to sleep for a bit longer than usual.
    Call it Eternity.”
    - Jerzy Kosinski (1933-1991)


    Depression
    Like a shadow you cannot shed
    Its companion
    Insomnia or fitful sleep
    Bereft of dream
    Hounded by demons
    That slur your words into dust

    Now married to despair
    Like a harpie
    Who interrupts breathing
    With talons that pierce the heart
    You bleed slowly out
    Day by day lost to others

    Finally
    You dream of a soft darkness
    A beautiful duvet filled with down feathers
    For warmth
    That is everlasting
    Where you might find peace

    To jump or what
    Into the unknown
    Off a bridge or boat
    Carbon monoxide poisoning in the garage
    Or slipknot noose
    Head far put in the oven with gas a plenty
    Seppuku would also work
    Shotgun blast for finality
    Or small circular objects called pills

    Your final poem or gesture
    Was a signature whose ink has yet to dry
    While we dumbfounded
    Watch from afar










  • #2
    Speechless – such a difficult topic, executed in a poem so well...

    Suicide – is it good?
    Bad?
    Sinful? —

    Each one will hold to their own beliefs
    And judge the subjective as universal truth.

    Why is it that only God is made to judge?
    Because He is all-knowing.
    I am NOT.
    So would I judge a brother
    Who could not take it anymore?

    Christianity is difficult – you are here now
    But one pointless mistake
    Sends you to hell
    Forever.

    Reincarnation is another belief
    That is more flexible
    With it –
    It is easier to forgive.

    The one who ends the dream through pain
    Brought by his own so-willing hand
    Was meant to learn such lesson in this life
    And will return
    To learn another.

    Until he is ready
    To meet in God.

    To be, or not to be? – that is a damn good question!
    Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
    The slings and arrows of such damn fortune –
    Or to take arms, against the sea of troubles
    And by opposing — end one's life, so full of pain?...

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    • #3
      AS, thank you for your comments. As an adult who has been plagued with depression and anxiety throughout adulthood, I think great poets are able to transmute their suffering into great
      poems at times. Often, unfortunately, they are trapped in the isolation of themselves and are worn down, and lose hope in the fundamental goodness of life and the world itself.

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      • #4
        I agree with AS Tanner - you have taken a sensitive subject and formed a thing of beauty. But then - that is your gift, no? Thank you for gifting us with it once again.

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