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  • Back a Day


    business minded was my own
    intention; not on new light shone
    since day before last, when hell broke
    loose; delivering heavy stroke…
    though double standard glared brighter –
    beyond reach of lady blighter

    honesty may best policy
    be; yet none will admit to see
    things which contradict one bias
    favored for another. why has
    this upset when that did not? root
    deep into self-decided suit

    of armor; heavy mounted on
    backs already broken…since dawn
    of creation. let freedom ring,
    full-pleading here and now that things
    on which you disagree to stave,
    produce not those to dig your grave.

  • #2
    Okay, three sestets, aa-bb-cc rhyming eight-syllable lines, within which enjambment is queen. This is an exquisitely conceived and wrought rumination, Rhymist, very othertime sounding in its tone and syntax. I am very taken with the phrase 'self-decided suit' all on its own.

    Comment


    • RhymeLovingWriter
      RhymeLovingWriter commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you Grant. It is not my usual strict rhyme-time fare, but I'm trying to learn how to play with things a bit - maintaining structure while smoothing out flow. I like that phrase 'othertime sounding'. As always, your commentary points me to things to appreciate and improve. Many thanks for the like!

  • #3
    This my favorite!!

    honesty may best policy
    be; yet none will admit to see
    things which contradict one bias
    favored for another. why has
    this upset when that did not? root
    deep into self-decided suit

    Comment


  • #4
    Brilliant contemplative rhyme.

    Some very clever phrases

    Comment


    • RhymeLovingWriter
      RhymeLovingWriter commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you Dwayne. I'm working on this style - trying to smooth things out.

  • #5
    Honesty will always best policy "CHOICE" GOOD WRITE

    Comment


    • RhymeLovingWriter
      RhymeLovingWriter commented
      Editing a comment
      Thanks TS - I do like honesty as a policy. Thanks for the look and nice comment!

  • #6
    I prefer the more playful poetic devices. this is one of my favorites from you

    Comment


    • RhymeLovingWriter
      RhymeLovingWriter commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you LG. I'm glad you liked it!

  • #7
    A very interesting structure to this close examination of human interaction, asking the hard questions poetically and rhythmically. Definitely a singular creation bearing your unique signature, RLW!

    Comment


    • RhymeLovingWriter
      RhymeLovingWriter commented
      Editing a comment
      Sigh...you can only imagine how joyful it was for me to see your picture and name head the queue. Glad you are back! I've been working on a new structure combining strict syllable count and rhyming using enjambment. I don't always have the fluidity or musicality of my earlier sing-song pieces, but I like the style and plan to keep working with it. Welcome back!
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