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  • Farewell embrace

    Farewell embrace

    You embraced me so gently as though I would disappear
    It had been too long since the last time I had seen your face
    Never a friendly hello or smile, only a look so austere
    I never knew you felt that way until you held me in your gaze
    Last edited by AlexandratheLate; 08-28-2016, 07:42 PM.

  • #2
    I've never liked goodbyes - at least from people about whom I care. This poem captures that feeling well.

    One question - I'm not a grammarian so am curious because of the way it 'sounds' in my ear. The word 'austere' is an adjective - but you use it as the object of a prepositional. Don't objects of prepositions have to be nouns?

    If you changed the 'of' to 'so' (i.e. Never a friendly hello or smile, only a look so austere) - it would maintain the rhyme and intent, but perhaps 'sound' smoother.

    Again - perhaps others can chime in if I'm way off base here. Whenever I getting around to writing as a job and not a hobby, I'll need a good editor.
    Last edited by RhymeLovingWriter; 08-28-2016, 06:07 PM.

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    • AlexandratheLate
      AlexandratheLate commented
      Editing a comment
      Yes that was a typo - I usually type it and copy and paste but spellcheck sometimes changes what I type. Thank you for the catch.

  • #3
    As usual, as is your forte, you have captured an emotion with power and sensitivity, AG.
    Last edited by MHenry; 08-28-2016, 09:08 PM.

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    • AlexandratheLate
      AlexandratheLate commented
      Editing a comment
      I thank you for your suggestion but it was a typo now remedied and to add warm would change the syllable count I was going for -- if you notice the first two lines are 14 and the last two lines are 16.

  • #4
    i love the way this flows... the words, the emotion.... i felt all of it. 'held me in your gaze'
    Simply gorgeous!

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    • AlexandratheLate
      AlexandratheLate commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you very much SuzZen. I was hoping that magical moment was felt.

  • #5
    beautiful poem ATL. embracing always seems awkward to me. that we use the same gesture for expressing love and farewell. they don't last long. and getting in and out of them is strange.

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    • Suz-zen
      Suz-zen commented
      Editing a comment
      20 seconds into an embrace (i think it that the magic count) the endorphin action begins, cortisol lowing will go,an increase in oxytocin (very nice hormone), and an overall feeling of well-being occurs....i am long and strong 'hugger'... i always have return business!

  • #6
    It can be awkward but I'm pretty affectionate and just hug - the next time it makes the other person feel more comfortable. :-)

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    • #7
      You're so right SuzZen!! I love hugs.

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      • #8
        I have to echo MHenry.

        I love the sentimentality in what you write !

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        • #9
          Thank you very much Dwayne. I try to write from my heart. :-)

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