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perfume biottle crashes

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  • perfume biottle crashes

    Perfume bottle crashes
    broken on
    bathroom floor
    fragrance permeates
    bleakness lingers,
    evermore?

    Memories relinquished
    startles senses
    left over?

    Cross ventilation
    enables flow
    palpable newness;
    seemed impossible before.

    Breathing essences of
    squeezed old veins,
    leaves clean skin to crawl.


  • #2
    This has a haunting quality about it Suz-zen, likes ghosts lingering with the fragrance. You show some hope of change in the third stanza, but that last line has a distinctly Henrician turn. I like the image presented in the title too - jarring & violent - which makes the sense of breakage immediate.

    I just hope it wasn't your favorite bottle.

    Comment


    • Suz-zen
      Suz-zen commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi RLW, First, thank you! Second, TYPO in title! ACK!! Where are my glasses? 'Biottle'!? A distant relative to the bottle?

      A perfume bottle of mine did fall and crash to the floor and the fragrance did linger for a few days. As i lay soaking in my bathtub this poem sort of drifted into my senses. i let it 'soak' for about a week....

      Appreciate your kind response!

  • #3
    I love this, Suz-zen! As a metaphor for lost love it works so beautifully! Your comment is also top drawer!

    As i lay soaking in my bathtub this poem sort of drifted into my senses. i let it 'soak' for about a week

    Comment


    • Suz-zen
      Suz-zen commented
      Editing a comment
      thank you MH...i am emulating you now in the comments department! or at least hoping to! The metaphor you noted is a bulls-eye!!

  • #4
    I could smell the perfume permeating SuzZen. Love the format you wrote this in.

    Comment


    • #5
      Hi AlexandratheLate most grateful for your comment!!

      Comment


      • #6
        Breathing essences of
        squeezed old veins,
        leaves clean skin to crawl.


        !!!

        Comment


        • Suz-zen
          Suz-zen commented
          Editing a comment
          somewhat macabre? Surprised nobody mentioned these last lines
          thank you grant hayes for always a keen eye and for commenting!

        • grant hayes
          grant hayes commented
          Editing a comment
          They are my favourite, Suz-zen. I would like to have written them!

        • Suz-zen
          Suz-zen commented
          Editing a comment
          mine too... sort of wrapped it all up! thank you again!
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