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  • Suz-zen
    commented on 's reply
    Hi DWAYNE! thanks for the thumbs up and the comments! Truly appreciate it. Back from a brutal business trip... getting grounded and back to reading and very little writing... maybe more tonight... unless i take a nap.

  • Suz-zen
    commented on 's reply
    thank you grant hayes! I have been offline for a bit and missed this great comment!! Catching up on poems and comments. Almost had forgotten i had written this. i kind of like it too. hahaha!!

  • DWAYNE
    replied
    Complete agreement with the others!
    Clever, artful write, brevity with depth of meaning!

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  • grant hayes
    replied
    What a tour de force of compact musicality, Suz-zen.

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  • Suz-zen
    commented on 's reply
    Thanks so much @AlexandratheLate... the rhyme is always the big challenge!

  • Suz-zen
    commented on 's reply
    Thank you @lunar glide!!

  • Suz-zen
    commented on 's reply
    appreciate this MHenry! I have tried but failed to use one of my favorite words altruism in a poem before... this interpretation works well in the true honest sense! I love to watch ants! Always have!

  • AlexandratheLate
    replied
    I really like this SuzZen. So much said in a few words packed with many poetic devices.

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  • lunar glide
    replied
    it seems like you get more syllables out of your haiku. yes altruism is a wonderful word 😄

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  • MHenry
    replied
    This makes me think of one aspect of ants. That is, they travel along a path toward each other, with single-minded purpose, bump heads, and go on their way. Maybe never seeing the other ant again. Your clever haiku makes an astute observation in briefest terms, with much alliteration, assonance, consonance and rhyme. A virtual nutshell overflowing with poetic devices!
    Last edited by MHenry; 08-10-2016, 05:19 PM.

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  • Suz-zen
    started a topic alrtuism

    alrtuism

    All true ism? him
    wakes with wisdom and a whim
    self-interest; sin

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