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  • alrtuism

    All true ism? him
    wakes with wisdom and a whim
    self-interest; sin


  • #2
    This makes me think of one aspect of ants. That is, they travel along a path toward each other, with single-minded purpose, bump heads, and go on their way. Maybe never seeing the other ant again. Your clever haiku makes an astute observation in briefest terms, with much alliteration, assonance, consonance and rhyme. A virtual nutshell overflowing with poetic devices!
    Last edited by MHenry; 08-10-2016, 06:19 PM.

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    • Suz-zen
      Suz-zen commented
      Editing a comment
      appreciate this MHenry! I have tried but failed to use one of my favorite words altruism in a poem before... this interpretation works well in the true honest sense! I love to watch ants! Always have!

  • #3
    it seems like you get more syllables out of your haiku. yes altruism is a wonderful word 😄

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    • Suz-zen
      Suz-zen commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you @lunar glide!!

  • #4
    I really like this SuzZen. So much said in a few words packed with many poetic devices.

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    • Suz-zen
      Suz-zen commented
      Editing a comment
      Thanks so much @AlexandratheLate... the rhyme is always the big challenge!

  • #5
    What a tour de force of compact musicality, Suz-zen.

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    • Suz-zen
      Suz-zen commented
      Editing a comment
      thank you grant hayes! I have been offline for a bit and missed this great comment!! Catching up on poems and comments. Almost had forgotten i had written this. i kind of like it too. hahaha!!

  • #6
    Complete agreement with the others!
    Clever, artful write, brevity with depth of meaning!

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    • Suz-zen
      Suz-zen commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi DWAYNE! thanks for the thumbs up and the comments! Truly appreciate it. Back from a brutal business trip... getting grounded and back to reading and very little writing... maybe more tonight... unless i take a nap.
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