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Ravenous Intent (Third in the Beastly Burden Series)

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  • Ravenous Intent (Third in the Beastly Burden Series)

    It had been decided the night before,
    when the senior men had seethed,
    at the king's command.

    Calls to mercy were a fine fiction,
    for royalty, perched upon a throne,
    but these were hard men,
    who bore the trials and anguish
    of the real world,
    and nursed its scars for proof.

    If the king
    no longer possessed the stomach
    to command the deserved reprisals,
    then they should be rid of his entrails,
    and let those
    with a greater constitution,
    perform the necessary duties.

    An assassin had been chosen.
    One who had
    raised his voice in contempt,
    against the king's quarter,
    and risked his neck,
    in the process,
    would not now hesitate
    to extend it,
    once again.

    The man had half a mind
    to snatch the enemies white flag,
    and in symbolic derision,
    twist a noose for the deed.
    But a sharpened blade
    between the ribs,
    would have to suffice.

    The king's guards
    had been given the choice
    to close their eyes,
    or be rid of them.
    They had elected the former.

    The chosen man,
    climbed through the tent,
    and readied his blade.
    Pulling back the covers,
    he struck,
    plunging the sharp point
    into the mass beneath.

    Just then,
    he felt cold steel
    pressed upon his neck,
    and braced himself
    for the fatal blow.
    It did not come.

    he was bound by callous hands,
    he could not see,
    but were clearly accustomed
    to the task.

    A torch
    flickered through the darkness,
    as the weary face of the monarch,
    came into view.

    I knew it would be you,
    the king said,
    sadness saturating every word,
    I had seen
    that ravenous look in your eyes.
    I had seen it in the mirror.

    That war
    is a necessity of self-preservation
    is a shame.
    That some men
    may stomach its atrocities,
    find peace
    a morsel
    impossible to digest,

    is the true tragedy.
    Such men are fit for hovels,
    little more.

    Then, spent,
    the king summoned his guards
    to whisk the man away.
    Last edited by DWAYNE; 08-10-2016, 08:45 PM.

  • #2
    I'm loving your voice as narrator. the story is entertaining, it could be read for pleasure, but its also a deep write! many likes


    • #3
      This is very impressive indeed! I feel like I need to go back and read the former two poems in this series.

      The poem itself is quite excellent and the story is...terrific. Love the interplay between the [four] parties [King's men, Assassin, King, Surrendered Enemy].

      An assassin had been chosen.
      One who had
      raised his voice in contempt,
      against the king's quarter,
      and risked his neck, in the process,
      would not now hesitate
      to extend it,
      once again.
      Is likely my favorite verse: 'Quarter' being both the king's side of the argument as well as the mercy shown the enemy is a very well chosen word. Also, with the 'risked his neck' bit I can picture a particularly arrogant goose repeatedly pecking at someone that can destroy it--the anatomy also ties in with the following verse about the white flag and noose.

      Finally, the King's contemplation at the end fits well with the entire poem [despite] the moral and historical lessons it may display.


      • #4
        This is great storytelling, Dwayne, and it is still in your signature voice.


        • #5
          I agree DWAYNE - this method of creating poetry is really agreeing with you.


          • #6
            I see you've taken up the challenge of continuing this saga, Dwayne. It's just a short step away from a verse novel, a form I have often considered attempting. Your sense of drama is impressive, and the feudal/ancient setting really suits your distinctive diction and tone. I have in the past pointed out how much some of your writing resembles the speech of a Shakespearean character; now you are venturing into a kind of 'history play' that puts several of these characters together. Kudos to you for exploring this fresh direction with such a keen narrative sense.


            • #7
              Like everyone else had said, this is a very captivating narrative that you are very skilled at weaving. I find myself joyfully clicking in when I see the next segment to this tale get posted. I look forward to where this tale will lead.


              • #8
                Dwayne signature style incorporating ancient history into modern day sameness. Love how you did that. The message is profound -- history still repeats itself when we as humans cannot distinguish its coat of many colors. Wonderful Dwayne!


                • #9
                  Thanks for the encouragement.

                  This has been a fun new creative challenge.