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Past Life Sighs

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  • Past Life Sighs

    I am afraid
    I am afraid I shall continue
    I am afraid I shall continue to come to you

    Trembling like my shadow
    like my shadow when
    like my shadow when the wind blows hard at the bay

    You see my life
    my life has been
    since you, my life has been wrapped in bewilderment

    And as the courage
    as the courage to embrace
    to embrace you in this half moonlight

    the familiar envelopes us like
    like wonder
    like wonder of a thousand nights of longing

    Uncontrolled sighs
    Uncontrolled sighs uttered
    In whispers and prayers to be answered in kind

    We shall not
    We shall not be afraid
    Not this time

    This time we allow our shadows to collide
    And sweetly still the nervous tremble,
    and pass the test of time
    This time.


    (inspired by a surprising sigh that was elicited by reading lunar glides poem today. upon deep reflection this came out.)

  • #2
    This rolls with repetition Suz-zen. I've used this device for effect in some of my own poems, but here you are taking several words/phrases to emphasize - and that is new to my ear.

    My favorite stanza is this:

    We shall not
    We shall not be afraid
    Not this time

    The closing stanza is dynamite too!

    Comment


    • Suz-zen
      Suz-zen
      Master of the Forum
      Suz-zen commented
      Editing a comment
      thank you RhymeLovingWriter, while I tired to do a simple repetition it would not sound right to my ear...thank you for picking out your favorite.. i so appreciate it.

  • #3
    yes suz-zen. pass the test of time this time! sighs are wonderful ! expressions without the disguise of words. like a paperweight inside you moves and whatever it was keeping down blows away hurredly before you have time to pin the emotion back down with words. this was a joy to read!!!

    Comment


    • Suz-zen
      Suz-zen
      Master of the Forum
      Suz-zen commented
      Editing a comment
      thank you @lunar glide... when I read your poem and my sigh 'leaked out' i had to pay attention. I like the image of the paper weight. it moved indeed. The papers started to float away and i had to stop quietly to catch them before they were out of reach.... ah.. a new poem is writing itself.

  • #4
    Very lyrical SuzZen -- I had a tune in my head as I was reading this.

    Comment


    • Suz-zen
      Suz-zen
      Master of the Forum
      Suz-zen commented
      Editing a comment
      you are a musician aren't you @Alexandrathe Late? I had originally started to write this as a lyric... my repetition set forth as such did not exactly work. And this is what resulted. What kind of tune? thank you for your kind comments! and sharing with me.

  • #5
    Echoes of T S Eliot in the way you've used repetition, Suz-zen. This is top drawer poetry; you are just going from strength to strength.

    Comment


    • Suz-zen
      Suz-zen
      Master of the Forum
      Suz-zen commented
      Editing a comment
      thank you @grant hayes.... TS Elliot is a marvel!!
      I am not sure about strength but I will keep doing 'reps' with my pen till the muscles are toned!! Really appreciate you!

  • #6
    Hi, Suz-zen, I love your experimental work.You are always trying new forms and the results are delicious and thought-provoking! This one is definitely one of your best!

    Comment

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