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  • Dugout

    This poem is about a young British soldier who parachuted into enemy territory and was injured and hid out in a dugout until he could be reunited with his brothers in arms.


    Dugout

    This pit, his home where he breathes, sleeps and hides
    Camouflaged by dresses of greenery
    Stale crumbs of bread taste like mum's apple pie
    These dirt walls- always the same scenery

    Loud thunderous sounds and flashes of light
    Rumble the ground, seep through the dusty cracks
    To keep his sanity takes all his might
    Waiting for the perfect time to get back

    His brothers in arms fighting for freedom
    Waiting to again be reunited
    Avoiding blood-thirsty goose-step demons
    From the raped lands where they are not wanted
    Last edited by AlexandratheLate; 08-05-2016, 07:56 AM.

  • #2
    Very vivid vignette, Alexandra; a return to your longer line, I see, with much music, and an almost cinematic drama. The last stanza depicts the enemy as would the most strident recruitment poster. One small detail: if he were a British soldier, the apple pie he'd think of would be 'mum's' or 'ma's'; 'mom' is distinctively American. ☺

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    • AlexandratheLate
      AlexandratheLate commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you very much Grant and I changed it. I really appreciate your catch and input.

  • #3
    Wonderfully done AtL! I tend to shy away from more realistic pieces like this because of my limited recall of historical detail. I'm often afraid I'm going to write a glaringly inaccurate line that negates the whole piece. This is a great job of imagining yourself in this soldier's place and writing anyway. I also appreciated Grant's catch - because I likely would have used 'mom' too!

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    • #4
      The movie was quite wonderful about his endurance and the people who risked their lives to help him and sacrificed their lives instead of giving him up to save their own.

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      • #5
        Thank you for the like Suz-zen. :-)

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        • #6
          Well written, AG! The rhymes are seamless and the story is well told. I love the first stanza the most.

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          • AlexandratheLate
            AlexandratheLate commented
            Editing a comment
            Thank you very much MH. I appreciate your noticing the rhyme scheme and syllables.

        • #7
          Alexandra I like this it paints a very compeling picture thank you

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          • AlexandratheLate
            AlexandratheLate commented
            Editing a comment
            Thank you very much Pp - I'm glad you read this. The movie was very compelling how our British brothers were involved and also how there were many German people who really put their lives on the line to do what they felt was morally the right thing to do in helping fellow brothers of the human race.

        • #8
          I love the last 2 lines. Gorgeous.

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          • #9
            I was afraid it might be too strong SG but the movie was really compelling about the goose step marches and the obliterating and plundering the people that would not go along and also that this British young man was at the mercy of peoples' humanity in helping him survive.

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            • #10
              you took on the horror of war like the artist you are many likes

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