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  • Fomentation

    When the nomenclatures
    Of darkness are laid bare
    And the scaffolding of dreams collapses
    Surely as you forage in the ruins
    Thick dust collecting
    In the throat like a swarm of locusts
    It is then that your voice tremulous at best
    Ravaged by past sin finds few words
    To acquit itself at the
    Altars of complexity briars abound and scratch
    Your torso as if you were
    Manhandled by vagabonds derelict and voracious
    Who emerge from the thicket

    Is aloe the necessary healing balm you need
    Or is another elixir more close
    At hand

    Last edited by Tanner; 07-31-2016, 05:35 PM.

  • #2
    Luscious word choices - check; melodic, meandering phrasing - check; punctuated by reflective conclusion - check! Tanner - this is a longer work than some you've posted, but sings and even stings in all the right places.


    • #3
      I love the way you put this verse together. I reads so easily and smoothly. It gives me thoughts and images but I can't seem to define them.

      thanks for the challenge.


      • #4
        those first 3 lines blew me away!

        wonderful Tanner


        • #5
          This is searingly powerful, Tanner. So much musicality and arresting imagery.

          Of darkness

          Thick dust collecting
          In the throat like a swarm of locus(ts)

          Manhandled by vagabonds derelict and voracious

          You wear well the hat of lexical wizardry. Kudos!!!


          • #6
            Grant, thanks for the clerical reset for locus/locusts. As an aside, in my first month in Kabul Afghanistan in July 1962 there was a locust invasion, flash flood and 6.4 earthquake. As a teenager I thought, this looks like an ominous and scary place. a lot of weird stuff is happening.


            • grant hayes
              grant hayes commented
              Editing a comment
              Biblical proportions, Tanner. To have been in such a land at such a formative age: the kind of life experience that demands to lead to poetry.

          • #7
            Personification, simile, and metaphor put to good use here, Tanner.